5.08.2007

Unanswered Questions: Camp Cariboo

Like my post last week on the unsolved mysteries surrounding Art Attack, this television show left YTV (and our hearts) in 1989, never to be heard of again. Like a fart in the wind, I suppose. But what happened to our dear Mark and Tom?
Here are some questions I would love answered:

Were Tom and Mark grown men with the brain functionality of six-year-olds who were allowed at camp as "Special Campers", or simply just two wacky guys?

Why were the Cariboo Challenges always impossibly easy tongue-twisters? The kids gave up after the second or third word! It would be something like "My Aunt Fanny owns a farm and a granny" and the kid would be like "My Aunt FlubbityOH MY GOSH! I MESSED IT UP!!" Come on! Who was teaching these kids to speak, the upside-down chins? Speaking of which...

Were you TRYING to give us nightmares?!? What the fuck, guys? Were you high on shrooms when you thought this would be a great addition to the show? Upside-down chins singing "I've got a head like a ping-pong ball"?!?

Were the Keeners just Tom and Mark dressed up like nerds, or what? Come on, it's been almost 20 years. The secret's out.

Mark is Ray Romano, right?

Who the hell was running this camp? It seems that Tom and Mark were in charge of everything; campers, the mail room, making sure Uncle Wes didn't fall on a campfire. I would have loved for them to play characters that you would actually see at camp; the weird loner who works in the kitchen, the loser who owns the camp, the kid who wishes his dead-beat-dad had a real job instead of owning a camp.

Uncle Wes never made much sense to me. He was an old guy who hung around a summercamp, whittling the same pine bough over and over again, and speaking in riddles. We have an Uncle Wes in my neighborhood, except we call him Uncle Smells-Like-Gas and instead of whittling a pine bough, he whittles...well, you get the idea.

You know how the theme was just a mish-mash of clips from the show? Remember the one where Tom is in a kayak and he tips it over? Didn't you secretly wish he wasn't able to turn it back over again? Uh...yeah...me neither.

What are Tom and Mark doing now? From this picture I found on Google image search, I take it that Tom and Mark were bought by a rich woman and are kept as pets in little cute sweaters. Also, they don't age. I feel like I'm at Madame Tussauds looking at the "Stars of CKCO-TV" exhibit.

Well, that's it. If anyone knows where Tom and Mark actually are, please let me know. I would love to know how those two wacky dudes turned out. Has Mark served time? Is Tom now a woman? These are the tough questions.

6 comments:

Jenn L said...

amazing.

Anonymous said...

The ageless Tom Knowlton is the Saturday morning co-host of CTV's "Good Morning Canada". See what you find out when not watching Sat. morning cartoons!!

Jenn L said...

http://www.southwesternontario.ctv.ca/bio.php?id=30

The Mayor said...

Clearly I need to be watching more "Good Morning Canada" and less "That's SO Raven" and "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody".

The Mayor said...

Aparently, Mark is a professor.
"My major research interests are the cognitive representation of interpersonal relationships and the influence of internally-represented significant relationships on attachment behaviour, self-conception, depression and social anxiety...and tongue-twisters, singalongs, and peddle-boat races!!!"
Okay, I might have added that last part.

Anonymous said...

Ray Romano?
Are you high?

I'm talkin' Scott Baio!