6.28.2007

Canada's Next Top H&M Employee - Week 5

Well well well, where do I start? CNTM is just running out of episode ideas, aren't they? Imagine explaining this week's episode to someone who woke up out of a coma?
You: Okay, so all 6 girls start out at the gym and they work out in a spinning class. Then they go to pole-dancing class and make up a routine that they preform for the other girls. Then three of them get to go to the spa and get manicures and pedicures. Then they go to the photoshoot where they jump on trampolines.
Coma Person: Wow, really? You watched that for 60 minutes? Good night. (falls back into coma)

For serious. You know you are watching a crap-budget show when they spend a good 19 minutes filming a spinning class and 8 whole minutes filming the conversation between Cori and Tara. Wasn't that agonizing? Besides, remember when ANTM would do really cool and original photoshoots? Now they have resulted to aping Lacoste ad campaigns.

You know what else I can't get over? That if I had bet against Cori this week, I would have lost a lot of money, my friends. Because instead of getting voted back to working the Drop Zone at Six Flags, she won this week! I know, right?She has a titch of the Monkey Face, but overall, this shot is so good! WTF?! I LOVED this week when Tara was like "I don't like Cori because she has a foul mouth" and then they showed a tonne of clips showing her swearing her face off? Tara, you straight trippin, boo. Cori's foul mouth is her only saving grace; she is so little and cute and fragile and then she's like "I bet them judges are s***** themselves right now! F***, am I ever hungry!" So, in short, last week I would have been satisfied if Gina AND Cori went home, but this week I guess I am glad she stayed. She is boring as hell, but she does take a good shot.
Now for the rest. Yarp. That's all I have to say.
Mo - RIP
My girl got sent home this week, and I think it was totally unfair. Tara is a stupid hobag and needs to go back to her blind mama and take care of her ugly-ass weave. There! I said it!!

Rebecca
Holy shit, she sure did look like Harland Williams at that pole-dancing class, but Sweet Baby Jesus, can she take a good shot or what? Cripes, this is amazing! She will definately have a career after CNTM...at the Hot Dog Factory. I kid! I kid! She will get work in the modeling world. Bluenotes is work, right?

Tara
An open message to Tara from me:
Go home! Nobody likes you! Your Maxim Caddy BFF is gone, and it's time you followed suit. Seriously, take a good look at this shot and tell me it looks better than Mo's. Do it. I dare you.
Love
The Mayor

Sinead
If talking about CNTM didn't put coma-person back to sleep, then this picture sure will. Sinead, you are Nytol. You are dark turkey meat and a box of red wine.

Tia
Okay, a long time ago my friend Spencer told me about some friends he had since he was little and they had this dog named Tia, and when Tia would lay on her back to get her belly scratched she (like most dogs) would open her legs (this isn't the dog trying to be gross, it is a sign that the dog trusts you). Anyways, whenever the dog would do this, both the boys would go "Ewww! Tia-taco!!"
So here is a shot of Tia-taco where it looks like she is a Hilary Swank shrunken-head doll.

And that's it for this week. You know what that means...
(cue Europe's The Final Countdown)
5 Left! Who will be packing up their water dish and kibble next week? Tara? Sinead? Tara? Tara? See you all next week!

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