6.21.2007

Canada's Next Top H&M Employee - Week 4

Hey fellas! So, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is...
I didn't get to watch CNTM last night. Dinner ran late.
The good news is...
I'm gonna go ahead and critique their pics anyway!
So, from what I have gathered, your homegirl and mine, vaGina got kicked out last night. Boo hoo hoo!Don't worry, Gina, ther's always Hooters.You like that Photoshop job? That's not even Photoshop. I'm kicking it old school - that's Microsoft Paint, bitches.
Now for the rest. I take it from last night that the photoshoot was some kind of image of a JetSet America lifestyle? Female spys? Just a bunch of random machinery with no theme? Yep, you got it.

Cori
1. Is this an ad for Urban Behaviour or Stitches?
2. Why is she so out of focus?!
3. Could they not have given us a two'fer last night and eliminated her too?

Mo
Okay, while Mo isn't my favourite model on the show, she sure is rocking that yellow. Seriously, I could never get away with that colour. I would look like the anthropomorphization of Urine. This shot, however, looks so staged and crappy. Is this not what you thought you looked like when you played Supermodel in your bedroom? I'm sorry, you didn't play Supermodel? You missed out.

Rebecca
She's normally my girl, but Rebecca looks like a kid going to the prom in this shot. Actually, more like Bryce Dallas Howard going to the prom. Actually, no, more like Ron Howard's weird brother going to the prom. Rebecca has the potential to look totally weird like Karen Elson or Agyness Deyn. She should work the creepy scare-little-kids look. Right now she is coming off as the only redheaded Sears model.

Sinead
Snore.

Tara
Sweet Baby Jesus, when did this show lose ALL credibility?!? Cripes, I could take a better picture than this on the first take! Tara, step it up girl! You are sucking so damn hard, it is making it hard for me to want to keep your crazy ass in the house! Bitch is unstable, that's fer shur. So why are all her pictures so bland? We need another Jael! You can be CNTM's Jael! I know this guy who can hook me up with some meth. I'll bring the drugs, you bring the Dortios! Let's have a party full o' crazy!

Tia
Oh God, Tia. What is happening here.

So there you have it. This week's Round-Up. Only 6 left; who will it be next week? My money is on Cori or Tara. Aw shit, who am I kidding. Does it matter?

5 comments:

Alex said...

Gina's like the "hot" younger woman your dad dates fresh out of his divorce from your mom. Maybe she works at a sunglasses kiosk in a mall or one of those hair salons that has overhead helmet dryers. At first she's all like "Let's bond! I'm gonna take you shopping!" but then you notice what a scary drunk she is and start making excuses to not go over to your dad's when you know she's there, drinking Wild Turkey from the bottle and swearing at the cat.

Hahaha - Tia does look special here. She should be wearing a cookie-monster T-shirt and butting in front of you in the line for the zoo.

The only ones I don't want to cut with a Venus razor right now are Sinead, Cori, and Mo.

The Mayor said...

Yeah, Sinead is alright - she seems like the least annoying. Also, you know that Mo knows she is better than the rest of those crazy bitches.

alex said...

I give up. I'm not going to comment to you anymores. Anything I say will be audible to your ears from next door.
signed, alex your sister, not alex the person who is writing you all this fanmail stuff

The Mayor said...

Aw, widdle blister, don't be like that boo. CNTM should bring us together, not drive us apart!

The Heninger Family said...

The body with the Hooters outfit... That's MY body!! Ha ha!!