7.25.2007

Anatomy of a Picture

Yeah, I'm sorry to post pictures like this so early in the morning, because trust, this almost made me barf. But allow me to explain what is going on in this lovely image of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes gettin' jiggy wit it:

1. Tom is sweating PROFUSELY

2. Tom's face says "yeah, a woman...this is hot. Hot hot hot. I am totally turned on right now...come on, Maverick, you can do this..."

3. The people in the back ground have one of two emotions: grossed-out surprise or fear

4. Katie has never, ever been to a school dance/watched MTV/rented Carmen Electra's Strip to Fit

Visit DListed for the original.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

jacket half off...so deck.

The Mayor said...

Alternate titles:
1. "Show me the money"? More like Show me the Hottie!!
2. You want the hottness? You can't handle the hottness!!
3. Mission: Im-hot-sible
4. The Hottest Samurai
5. Risky Hottness
6. Cocktail...of hottness!
Like Tom Cruise's movies, these just keep getting lamer and lamer.

Anonymous said...

7. Days of Thunder...cats. Ho!

The Mayor said...

Amazing! I would also have accepted
8. Hot-nority Report
9. Hot-nolia
10. Thighs wide shut
11. Hotterview with the Sexpire
12. The Hot-siders
13. The Firm...penis (whoah!!)
Some of those reek...'specially 11. What's a 'Sexpire'?

Anonymous said...

14. Vanilla Sk(y)ank!

The Mayor said...

Oh snap, that one was mint!
15. Far and A-gay
16. Born on the Dork of July
17. Top Bum (meh)
18. I know there is a Rain Man/It's Raining Men joke in here somewhere...
and one for Katie...
1. Gayson's Crack (lame!)

The Mayor said...

I feel like I have found my true calling as a writer for MAD Magazine, or if this was 1972, National Lampoon.

Anonymous said...

Get down girl, go'head get down!

The Mayor said...

Nanananana..it's the motherfuckin' L Ron Hub (Lord Xenu, motherfuckers!)
You can tell Katie is like "It's getting hot in here...I should remove all my clothes" and then Tom comes in with the girl part and goes "I am.get.ting.so.hot..I'm.going.to take my cloooothes off!"