Canada's Next Top H&M Employee - Week 7

Well, here we go again! I can't believe there is only one episode left! Next week - Top Model Party at my house! I'll bring the cocaine! I hate to sound like a paranoid hippie, but I am getting a little tired of the blatant product placement parade from week-to-week. I had to make sure it wasn't just my imagination, so I took inventory during this episode. This week, we got treated to:
- Kraft Dinner
- French Connection
- Fashion Magazine
- Filthy McNastys
- Cadillac
- The Humane Society
Also, how much do I LUV Stacey McKenzie?!This week the girls had to be models in an FCUK storefront and it was as boring as you might imagine it. They could have filled the windows with ringers (ie. Plastic Mannequins) and I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. That's not a good thing. But while Rebecca won the challenge, Sinead won the photoshoot. Fuck-a-doodle-doo.Sinead
Snoresville…but in a good way. People would buy this magazine. I think Sinead is boring as a pile of bundled newspapers on recycling day, but something tells me she’d be fun to hang out with. Maybe I’m only saying that because I secretly think that I could be friends with Natalie Portman (and Kirsten Dunst too…and Chloe Sevigny. Basically I live in a fantasy world).

And where there's a winner, there's also a loser. And WHAT a loser! Who's the model that admitted that "she did the school thing, but she just wasn't into it"? That's right, Cori. Don't worry Cori. You did the school thing. You did the model thing. Now you can do the shift manager at Hollister thing.Cori
She looked like she was going to the senior prom in this shot. J'ya-ee-zuz! Cori is a hot mess. All that crying and hyperventillating and payback with the pictures. You know what Cori reminds me of? That girl that gets dumped and then goes batshit crazy on her ex, like keys his car and eggs his house at night. Ah Cori, you remind me of my youth. Let's look at the remaining 3 "not quite winners, not quite losers":

I'm not even going to waste time saying girl is the shit – you all know that. There are two other things I want to focus on:
- Rebecca’s boyfriend is SUCH A JOCK! Oh my god, what a douchebag! He is such a Brad&Chad! I loved how he got arrested for drunk and disorderly and then proceeded to order double rye and gingers and the bar. Rye and Ginger!! That is SUCH redneck drink! You know what’s even more redneck? When a guy orders a “Rye and Dry”.
- One of my lovely readers pointed out last week that Rebecca looks not like Harland Williams, but like Manson Family member Lynette Fromme aka Red. And to that I say, sweet baby Jesus!

"We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock - It was a rock lobster!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaaah-ah-ah! Rock Lobster!"

Remember when Rebecca's jock boyfriend came over, and Tara was all like "I'm happy for Rebecca...but I'm a little sad..." and she was crying? Bitch! Don't front! You don't have a boyfriend!

So there it is! The final 4! I was going to call them The Fantastic 4, but that would be a lie. So let's place bets on who is going to be eliminated next week:
4. Tara
3. Tia
2. Sinead/Rebecca
1. Rebecca/Sinead
Peace! See you all next week!


Christella M said...

You know why Sinead's picture was the best? Because she SHOWED HER TEETH!

CNTM makes all Canadian women look like stupid, angry, annoying kind of ugly dysfunctional rednecks.

Okay, I guess CNTM has a point. >.<

the mayor said...

Oh my god, I know. There is a reason America has stereotyped us as boring, stupid northern hillbillies. Did you SEE Rebecca's BF? Shiteous. Also, my roomate said it best - Cori better get her ass to the Duff (Dufferin Mall).
She could get a job at H&M OR Stitches! Go Cori!

Anonymous said...

WHO CARES??? Where's the scoop on your #2 favourite ginger Rupert Grint? He's here in Toronto, in YOUR neighbourhood and what? no photo???

The Mayor said...

Anonymous - I hate to break it to you, but I have a day jerb. As much as I would love to stalk Rupert Grint, I can't leave work for it. Daniel Radcliffe however...rrowr..I will stalk that celery. Was what I just said even legal? Cripes, I gotta tone it down on the underage lusting.

The Mayor said...

And the "who cares" comment was uncalled for - EVERYONE cares about CNTM...all 10 of us (that includes the 4 remaining models, Jay, and Moses Znaimer)

Jenn L said...

whoa whoa whoa, rupert grint is in toronto!


Anonymous said...

Philthy McNasty*

Anonymous said...

Oh please, there are white girls who are the same tone as she is. She's not black, she's mixed, and she looks awesome in red lipstick.