Girl, you done me wrong.

Remember when way back when I posted a picture of you rollerblading with some rehab friends, and I said you looked happy and healthy and I was so proud of you? Bitch, are you for real? Speed racing AND drinking AND coke in the pockets?!? Lohan! What the Hell, girl?!? Everyone was rooting for you! We were so happy that you gave up your crackhead loser ways, and now this? I am be-YOND pissed right now. Do you know how much shit I took for defending you? People laughed at my ass when I told them that you had changed and that you were going to re-launch your career. Audition for some movies where you don't play a stripper or a slut. Hook up with Tina Fey again and do Mean Girls 2: Electric Boogaloo.
Girl, you goin' to jail. You think Paris had it bad? Paris drove a little drunk one night. This is your second time being caught with coke. In the words of Office Space's Michael Bolton - you are going to Federal, Pound-Me-in-the-Ass Prison.

1 comment:

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