The Skip-Raid Interviews Lesley Arfin

Today we sit and chat with the First Lady of VICE, Dear Diary's Lesley Arfin. She just published her first book, and I figured now was as good a time as any to bother one of my heroes. Our sincerest thanks for taking the time out of being awesome to answers a few Q's.Full name: Lesley Ericha Arfin

Occupation: Writer/hotel reservationist

Where you live: New York City, lower east side

Where we can find you:
Leslie's Myspace

Okay, so after reading Dear Diary, I have come to two conclusions: 1) you and I have lead the exact same life (minus heroin and bathtub bestfriend business) and that we are essentially the same person.
2) your story is totally relateable.
Which is more likely?
Good question. Could go either way. I'm thinking the former though, just to play it safe.

Is there any drug you didn't do?
I've never done peyote (regretfully). I also never shot cocaine into my arm (also regretfully-I hear it's pretty good). I never drank moonshine.

Amy Winehouse - actually does as many drugs as people say, or all-talk?
I'm sure she does a lot of coke and doesn't eat. I don't know. She seems nervous, paranoid, and teeth-grindy. Maybe she does pills? I'm sure she does something.

In your junkie days, how much could you out-junkie her?
Oh my God, dude! I would tooootally OD harder than her!

Are you and Chloe Sevigny total BFFs now?
I wouldn't say we're total BFF's but if I got a haircut she would be in the top 8 people I'd call.

When you have kids, what will you name them?
I'm SO not telling! People steal names! One name I like for a girl is Max and for a boy I like Alvie. You can have those.

Did you ever play the game Girl Talk?
I did indeed. That one came with a cassette tape, right?

Now that you're off the sauce, what's your favourite drink?
I enjoy a water-tini, which is water in a martini glass. I also like an Arnold Palmer (iced tea and lemonade mixed) and a drink I call "Aunt Flo" which is actually just cranberry juice. Giving drinks names makes them taste better.

How big of a douchetard is Pharrell?
You know, maybe he's cool, whatever. My experience was that he was a total fucking loser asshole. He don't impress me much.

I used to own a pair of those half-cowboyboots (the ones that were at the ankle) and we used to call them Texas Slips. How effing uggers were those?
Texas Slips? NICE.

The Skip-Raid is written out of Toronto. What is the most suprising thing you have ever learned about Canadians?
That I really love them.

This is Lesley's book. I suggest you buy it because it is really really awesome, and it's only like $20, so you have no excuse.

What are a couple of non-stop annoyances about New York? What do you love so much?
What I don't like about New York is the amount of money I give to it. What I love is that I can yell "Fuck you, you fucking shithead!" when some dude in a cab cuts me off and no one really bats an eye. There are weird rules and contests New Yorkers have that no one talks about, but if you live here long enough you get a sense. I love what separates "Us" from "Them". You can only know what I'm talking to if you live here. I think it's called The New York Groove.

Okay, so when you interviewed Chris Nieratko, you said that you read Skinema and totally understood how he got girls. Can you explain this, because I also read Skinema, and while it makes me wanna be friends with him, it does not make me want to have a 'bathing suit-area party' with him. PS - how do you pronounce his last name? I have been saying it "near-ATT-ko".
I'm pretty sure you're pronouncing it correctly. After (and during) Chris's book I got horny. And I thought he looked cute in some of the pictures. Any guy that has a really dirty but very quick mind is immediately attractive to me. His humor is such an obvious defense mechanism for his vulnerabilities I was just like, "awww."

One time I was at a concert and Kathleen Hanna was standing beside me and I almost shit my pants. What did it feel like to dance with her?
I have to admit I felt pretty cool. Granted, she was drunk and doesn't really remember. It's funny what seems insignificant to some people mark milestones in other people's lives. Not that dancing or talking to her was a milestone per say, but it was something that I'll never forget and our conversation made a strong impact. I've seen her since and the excitement is gone, probably because I'm older and less insecure. Still, I will always think of her as one of my favorite artists.

When is the last time you were really dicky to someone?
Two weeks ago I blew up at my co-worker and made her cry, I'm ashamed to say.

Okay, so I started taking some anti-anxiety meds, and I gained like 15 lbs. I'm tall, so it doesn't show that bad, but I still feel like a fat whale. How did you lose your post-BFC weight?
I'll let you know that it took me about 2 years to get a weight I feel comfortable with (today I'm 5'2 and weigh 113-pretty normal). I started eating better. I ate more whole foods, complex carbs, fruits, veggies-all that. The longer I'm sober, the more I respect my body and care for it. I rode a bike a lot but haven't in a while (I should). I take vitamins and try not to eat when I'm bored. I also smoke a shitload of cigarettes

Who and what do you love the most right now?
Yikes. I love Joseph Campbell (wiki him). I love the band The Virgins. I love hard boiled eggs (just the whites). I love holistic and homeopathy medicinal cures. I love not believing in psychics. I love corn in August, Scott Lenhardt, and Sophie McInnes. I love redheads that have tons of freckles.

Your ideal sandwich:
I'll stick with my classic: roast beef, lettuce, mayo, and either Swiss or Munster cheese on a roll. I also am a fan of tuna fish with pickles. Crazy I know!


Anonymous said...

how about you actually put up the interview

The Mayor said...

how about you click on the link that takes you to The Skip-Raid Interviews site.

The Mayor said...

I have to seperate the two (interviews and regularily scheduled Skip-Raid stuff) cause I was getting a massive influx of people going "put the interviews on a seperate page, will ya?"
So yeah, its not hard - www.skipviews.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

on the book you posted as a picture it even says, in big letters, LESLEY
what a retard, research your people better, mayor.

The Mayor said...

Ahahahahahahah, go eat a dick!
It was an honest mistake and now its fixed! Keep your eyes peeled for more spelling mistakes, cause I make them all the time.

Anonymous said...

Whoa Mayor! You laugh at others mistakes....don't FREAK when they laugh at yours...

The Mayor said...

I'm not freaking! Have you never told someone to eat a dick? Its hilarious! What does it even mean? Who knows! Its like telling someone to go suck a fuck (Donnie Darko).

jamiearfin said...

I hate to say this but there is still a spelling error- Under "Where to find you:" it says LESLIE'S myspace...
not Lesley.


Jamie Arfin
- we must be related but I have no idea how.

mark said...

i wrote a review of lesley's book
dear diary