8.23.2007

The Skip-Raid Reviews: Skinema

Okay, so when I interviewed Lesley Arfin (ey not ie), one of the questions I asked her was how she found Chris Nieratko so irresistably charming. I told her I had read the book, which was a tiny bit of a lie, since at the time I was interviewing her I had only read half. Anyways, I am done now and I can safely say that my boyfriend has some surrious competition. Not that it would matter, cause Chris Nieratko is married. But I can pretend, right? Like my boyfriend's name is Chris, so its basically the same. Maybe I can even start calling him Nieratko in an adorable nickname way. Right now I call him Killjoy Penny Pincher, because he is always ragging my cord about buying stuff we don't need. Like a Microplane. Which I want. Anyways, the book doesn't review porn, it's just a compilation of cute anecdotes and thoughts. So, Lady Judging Me on the Streetcar, I'm not reading porn. I'm reading a book. I know it's hard to wrap your mind around a book that isn't The DaVinci Code or Confessions of a Shopaholic (something I totally don't get; how can you be an -aholic to shopping? Like Bob Saget says in Half-Baked "you aren't addicted to something till you have sucked dick for it". Lady, have you ever sucked dick for shopping? No, because that's impossible.) So yeah, stop being a b'yotch and tsk-tsk-ing me when you see me reading on the Streetcar. I can do as I please. If I want to make a flipbook from nude shots of Pete Doherty and read it in front of a group of summer day-camp kids, I will. I wasn't raised in the garbage though, so I won't. I have little tolerance for people who get on the bus or streetcar or whathaveyou, and there will be plenty of open seats, and they choose to sit beside me and judge. You know what I'm talking about. The raised-eyebrow look-away judge. Lady, there are 10 other free seats - find one, or I'll find one for you.
Long story short, I surriously reccomend buying Skinema. Cause you know that the banner ads for Skinema and Dear Diary won't be leaving the VICE website anytime soon, so you might as well give in.
RATING: Like an empty public washroom when you have diarreah

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im sure your boyfriend would love that.

Anonymous said...

So where's the book review? The rant about the bus lady and your cheap ass boyfriend is the review??
btw...it's diarrhea.

The Mayor said...

I love you guys.

The Mayor said...

Um, also, I did review the book. Its anecdotal. Chris Nieratko didn't write a novel here...if you ever read VICE or Big Brother, you will know exactly what this book is about (some of the entries will actually seem familiar)

Anonymous said...

chris neratko is so weird, but pretty funny. i might buy this book

Anonymous said...

www.chrisnieratko.com

bitches!

The Mayor said...

Exactly, you dumb bitches, visit the website above. For serious - I really want to interview CN, so best bee-hive-yor urrbods. I need to finally bury the Lesley Arfin Name Spell Wrong Fiasco.