This isn't the first time I've dreamed about Saved By The Bell.

Okay, so I'm sure you're thinking "come on, can you not have a better post for Monday Morning that a play-by-play of one of your lame dreams?"
To that I say when talking about Saved By The Bell, there are no lame dreams. With that being said, my dream was that I went to this Starz on Ice show called "Highschool USA Beach Party". It was just a thinly veiled Saved By The Bell rip-off. The only stars in it were Mario Lopez (AC Slater) and Lark Voorhies (Lisa Turtle) and they played characters called DC and Stacy who were the most popular kids at a California Highschool called Bayside High. Yeah, that one was a direct rip-off. I guess my brain started to get lazy or something. Anyways, they had to compete against the rival highschool "to win". To win, what? My dream never said. They just had to win, and I respected that. So yeah, then Mario Lopez and Lark Voorhies had to compete via Tandem Surfing. It was like pairs skating, except with surfboards. Also, this is still an ice show, so they were on skates. Lark kept digging into Mario's shoulder with her skate and he kept going "watch it, you stupid bitch!!" into his mic, which for whatever reason they never cut off or removed. He basically cursed through the whole thing, going from hokey dialogue to horribly offensive swearing: "Whoah! Hang 10 Stacy, here comes the Big Kahuna of waves!! You stupid piece of shit, watch your skate or I'll knock all your teeth down the back of your throat!"
Everyone in the audience was so unphased, as if all they heard was the first part and that was all they could focus on: "Oh my god, Diane, do you think they will make it?!?!" Meanwhile, I'm sitting there going "Oh shit, did Lark Voorhies just backhand Mario Lopez?!?!"
I guess my subconcious brain was getting bored too, cause the dream ended with me sitting in the audience thinking about what snack foods they had at the concession. Would they have nachos? Would they have cotton-candy? Can they sell beer? Can I get a beer? I only have $5. Then I woke up. I never found out if DC and Stacy won, but I guess they did. Not many Ice Shows have crazy twist endings (unless they are written by M. Night Shyamalan)


Anonymous said...

NOW I know why I hate Mondays!!!!

The Mayor said...

Really? You hate Mondays because of The Skip-Raid?

Anonymous said...

B-b-b-beat, go bayside!