9.27.2007

America's Next Top Model 9:2 (its a long one!)

I have some exciting news that I figured I would share today, since most of you read The Skip-Raid on Thursdays (I am like Miss Cleo, I know everything. You're a Libra). Anyways, rull quick:
The Skip-Raid has an Intern!
No, I didn't adopt a cat. His name is Tyler and he will be running errands for me, like getting me coffee, smokes, or scoring black-tar heroin. In addition to several more illegal activities I have planned (two sets of prints, people. Two sets of prints) he will be contributing his 2 cents on Thursdays for a little segment I like to call "Tyler the Intern's International House of ANTM" or something. I can't think of a better name right now. Anyways, let's all welcome Tyler aka T-Bone aka Tube-Top.

The Skip-Raid has joined Bite-TV's Website!

That's right, every Friday you can visit Bite's Blog and get your weekly pop-culture roundup courtesy of moi. The Mayor is going big time! Looks like it's time to celebrate with some black-tar heroin! Speaking of junkies, let's talk about ANTM now.

Okay, so as you may or may not know, last week I missed 80% of the show, which sucked. But honestly? The first episode is a steaming pile anyways, so who cares. On to the good stuff, I say. I was so confused last night when I saw that huge cruise ship - I honestly thought they were filming Season 9 on a boat, like Breaker High (I WISH!!!) but sadly, no. They are in the house again. Meh, what can you do? I loved when they got into the house, and they all acted like little orphans who have never seen a bed before. They're all running around screaming "BEDS!!! TOWELS!! RUNNING WATER!!" And they have that new Bio-Diesel bus to truck their assess around - how much did that thing sort of remind you of the IKEA shuttle? Don't act like you have never rode that deathtrap. Moving on. Here is what I thought of a few of our regulars this week:

Tyra
No smoking, eh? I can't wait to see the models get all antsy and angry when they go through nicotine withdrawl. And the Old Navy challenge? Tyra's wig tape must have gone up in price, cause that's the only explanation I have for getting Old Navy involved. When I think of top models, like Jessica Stam, Lisa Cant, Agyness Deyn, or Miss D Daria, I totally think of discount-retailer Old Navy.
Miss J
"The bad news is, we lost your luggage. The good news is, you can borrow clothes from Nigel Barker!"
Benny Ninja
Is so scary!
Jay Manuel
CNTM not paying the bills? Had to come crawling back to Tyra? I don't blame you buddy. The entire budget for CNTM is the same as Tyra's budget for wig tape.

Here is my rundown of the girls. I am NOT posting their pictures because they are all bland. To check out their "model shots", hit up The CW here.

Ambreal
Is she 40? Can someone check her ID? Ambreal, alright. Ambreal old.
Bianca aka Binaca
She is my fave!! You know that once they get rid of that crappy purple hair, she will be awesome! You can already tell she is gonna be the HBIC in that house.
Chantal
Oh my god, when she was on the balcony crying about LA, I wanted to push her right off. She's so one of those midwestern Nebraska losers that's like "I ain't be done big city livin' before!" She will be gone very very soon. Also, something to note: she looks like a blonde Adrianne Curry.
Ebony
She's a bitch, and she needs to put some pants on. She is super-pretty, though.
Heather
This is the one with Aspergers. I feel bad for her. I hope that during her make-over, they dye her hair black and make her look like Dita Von Teese. She totally has a chance of winning, cause Tyra loves a sob story.
Janet
In her photos, ho looked like Sharon Osbourne, stright up. Janet is a redneck at heart.
Jenah
Who?
Kimberly
She is this season's Gina from CNTM. Just like school in July: no class. She will be voted out, and be working at Whiskey a Go-Go within 24 hours.
Lisa
Homegirl bugs me, but I'm not sure why. Hmmm...why is it..something I can't quite put my finger on...maybe it's because she IS NOT TOP-MODEL MATERIAL!! She does seem pretty fun though, so maybe we will get some good jokes in this Cycle.
Mila
I was taking notes when I was watching last night, and I wrote down 2 words for Mila: Hollister and Laguna Beach. And since she has a ho's chance in church of being added to Laguna, The Hills, or Newport Harbour (which I have yet to watch), then I am guessing that we could find Mila working the door at Hollister in the Saugus Mall (I did my research!)
Saleisha
I could easily make a joke about Saleisha winning the Old Navy challenge and how her name contains the word sale, but I won't. I don't think I need to make the connection between the cheapness of Old Navy and Saleisha's cheap wig. I don't. Don't make me go there.
Sarah
I don't see her lasting.
Victoria
Ugh, she reminds me of Anne of Green Gables. Additionally, she has this high and mighty "I go to Yale" attitude that makes me want to barf. She will be gone soon.

1 comment:

alex davey illustrations said...

Was this Tyler writing?