Last night on The Hills...

Let's call this week's episode The Brody Show, cause that's what it felt like. Homegirl got more time than Audrina, Lo, and Justin-Bobby combined! Let's start with Heidi though, cause she really doesn't play an integral role in this week's shitstorm.
Okay, so Heidi and Kim, eh? She is gonna run her like a mule. Heidi is all "if you need anything..." More like "if I need anything, it will be broughten!" (because Heidi is all about the un-words. Did you hear her say world-wind? Um, it's whirlwind, you stupid slut).
Anyways, back the the TeenVOGUE model casting call, Lauren gets the hots for Gavin, a model that she worked with on a TeenVOGUE shoot previously. DON'T DO IT, BITCH!! Lauren, girlfriend; don't ever date models. They are dumb as shit. Hot, but dumb as shit. But for serious, they love talking about their hair too much, and that is only fun for a day. Two days, tops. Alright, so Gavin asks Lauren on a date. I get a very maybe-gay'be vibe from good ol' Gavin. He seems like he would be a top. Moving on...
Heidi is at home with The Puppetmaster, and she is all "Honey, I'm in here getting ready for that big NASCAR event". There is no ammount of money you could pay me to attend a NASCAR event. Well, maybe $25 grand, but that's only cause I owe the bank muchos dollars. So The Puppetmaster is being all pouty cause he made 'special dinner plans' (um, do they not go out for dinenr every night?) and everytime Heidi defends her choice, he gives her the thumbs-down. Which was HILARIOUS!! The best was when Heidi busted Spencer for not having a job aka The Diss Heard Round the World. She's all "I'll be at work...why don't you try it?" Ahahahaha, Spencer is a stay-at-home dad!!
So Brody and Frankie have a beach party and Brody does an impression of Frankie. I laughed, whatever. So I think Brody and Lauren did what I like to call the bathing-suit-area dance. That's what I gathered from Frankie's spinning bed remark. That, or they found one of those Austin Powers spinning beds. Probably not. So Gavin arrives and tells Lauren that he went camping in Catalina and Lauren goes "ew, camping". THANK YOU!! Finally, someone says what I have been saying all along!! Camping is stupid and dirty and you smell like dirty hair and poo and urine. Why? It's called a hotel.
Brody decides he is going to grill Gavin and see if he is good enough to date/fool around with Lauren. Was anybody else thinking "fuck Gavin, I want Brody Jenner"? Brody is eh oh tee.
Meanwhile at the NASCAR event, Spencer calls Heidi and guilt-tripps the hell out of her and she stands there looking like a low-budget porn star. Ie: what else is new? I will talk about them when something interesting happens.
Let's cut to Lauren and Gavin's date, shall we? Here is how it all went down:
Bla bla bla white-washed sushi place bla bla bla Gavin looks like Ken Paves bla bla bla booooring. Like watching paint dry.
The Lauren invites Brody over to 'watch a movie' aka do it!! Good for you, good choice.
So Next Week on The Hills... has Lauren and Whitney going to New York to meet with Amy Astley and show them some stuff. It looks like Whitney blows it, but it's honestly just clever editing. What will happen with Brody and Lauren? Will Brody be friends with Spencer again? ARe the writers getting lazy? See you next week!!


Jenn L said...

man that was indeed a boring episode, i just watched it now. all aboard the lame train.

The Mayor said...

oh my god, I know. it was so dull - i thought i was going to fall asleep. More Lo, i say!

Eric said...

There was an Austin Powers like spinning bed in Brody's suite in Vegas a few episodes ago. I believe Audrina got in a fight with Lo about not liking Justin-Bobby while spinning on the bed.

Anonymous said...

no more brekkie reviews eh
too much drama obsessed talk on this website