Year End Review Week Part 3

Bonjourrno, friends! Okay, so with day three in my 4-part series of year end awesomeness already under way, I am mucho pleased-o to give you my favourite movies for 2007. It was super hard picking the best as all movies were...aw, just kidding! It was easy as hell 'cause most movies were steaming piles of catshit this year. Next year isn't looking so good either, so let's take 5 minutes to revel in movies that didn't eat my ass with a spoon (what am I, 12 years old?)
Let's get ready to rumble with my FAVOURITE 7 MOVIES OF 2007!

This movie was great for two reasons:
1. Ben Affleck behind the camera
2. Casey Affleck
Also, plot, story, acting, Ed Harris, bla bla bla.

Honestly, if you have seen Hairspray and hated it, then by all means, make fun of this choice. But if you haven't seen it yet and you are bold enough to make a comment about how gay it was or something, then you can go fuck yourself. Hairspray was so.fucking.fun. It got a little lame at times (read: nearly every scene with Zach 'Highschool Musical' Efron) but otherwise it was a very sweet, very well-acted, musical. And people, I HATE musicals. So this is coming from someone who could give two shits about seeing Wicked or anything with that goddamned Kristin Chenoweth. Even my kid sister liked Hairspray, and she hates nearly everything (including babies. Who hates babies?!?)

I shouldn't have to explain why this movie was great. All I will say is, like Shaun of the Dead, I could watch this movie 5 times in a row, and never get sick of it. You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off down the model village.

I know what you are thinking: "Stop pandering to the art-haus crowd!" Um, no. No Country was bad-ass. So effing bad-ass. How can you go wrong? Drugs, early 1980s, a fuckload of people die at the hands of Javier Bardem (I totally just got a lady boner). Plus it's the Cohen Brothers, who are notorious Awesome Dudes. I mean, it's no Lebowski, but it is pretty damn close to my second favourite Cohen Brothers movie (sorry O Brother Where Art Though? Take a lap).

Want a movie that is twice as bad-ass as No Country, but also has a fit-as-hell Viggo Mortenson fighting naked in a steam room? You don't, you say? Pfft, as if, you liar. I sat through this movie and every 5 minutes I was going "Oh fuck...this isn't going to go well...Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" There are so many Russian Mafia fights and near-deaths for babies and ladies and shit. Holy crap, this movie is so good. It is nominated for 3 Golden Globes, and I sincerely hope it wins one. It was so good, I would be willing to get a tattoo on my knuckles that said "I fucked Kirill". Just kidding, I already have one.

This movie hasn't even come out yet, and I am already billing it as one of my favourites for the year. Why? 3 words: John C. Reilly's penis. You totes get to see it! Well, I assume it is his. Judd Apatow said that you see someone's penis in Walk Hard. Yikes, it could be Chris Parnell. Meh, that wouldn't be so bad. Anyways, I am mad pumped for this movie. I am really hoping for a scene as cute as Reese Witherspoon and Wah-keem Pheonix singing Time's a Wastin' in Walk The Line.
Now I've got arms, and I've got arms. Let's get together and use those arms...

Goddamn shit on a motherfucking stick, how awesome was this movie? Albeit that anything Judd Apatow or Michael Cera touches turns to gold (I could easily make a joke about me having sex with them and my crotch turning to gold, but you know what? It's Christmas and I am just too demure and classy to go there this month. Wait till January...)
Anyways, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, Superbad is effing great. I was so excited when Fogell had sex for the first time. I was like "yeah, McLovin! Your penis is totally inside!!"


Anonymous said...

All worthy. You obviously didn't see The Brave One with the most awesome Jodie Foster!

The Mayor said...

Good call - I was originally going to call you a tard, but my Moms saw it, and said it was actually really good. So I will let you have that one.

homesquirel said...

a-dawg i mean seriously i watched hairspray just because of you, and midway i was ready to call you and just yell homo into the phone and hangup. hairspray was GAY and was so horribley lame that i had to turn it off!!!!! i must say i am shocked that you actually endorse that movie!! so i need you to justify why that was a good movie! however i saw superbad last night, and i laughed the hardest i have in a long time.