Today is March 1st, dammnit.

Let it be known that I don’t believe in Leap Years. February 29th is bizarre and I don’t trust it. Why do we need to fake a day every 4 years? It makes no sense. It also makes little sense to have Daylight Savings Time. It’s bogus. Just like the Moon Landing. I’m no crackpot, but does anyone else out there believe the Moon Landing was faked, too? Come on – there is so much damn evidence to prove it was faked. And for all the smarmy bastards sitting on your high horses, riddle me this; if the Moon Landing was real, then why have they not done it again. Prove me wrong, America! Prove me wrong. But enough about my crackpot skeptic theories…
Today is Friday, and l won’t lie – I had nothing planned for today. I went home from work yesterday clinging to the cold, clammy hands of life on the bus. I seriously thought I was going to hurl on the busride home (would not be the first time. But that’s a story for another day. Maybe Monday). So I got home and climbed into a warm bath and then straight into pyjamas. I then watched one our of The Office and went to bed. I was all cuddled up like a warm cinnamon bun. Fuck, the worst part was waking up at 7am (I slept 10 hours) and felt like I hadn’t slept at all. Don’t you hate that?!? I feel like I hadn’t slept at all.
Ugh, this is turning into one of ‘those blogs’. You know – ones where people write random shit about their life that no one gives a flying fuck about? This morning I woke to the sun shining in my eyes – not a good start. I placed my warm feet on the cold floor and walked calmly to the kitchen for a bowl of Grape Nuts. Drats, there were none. I had to settle for Total, a lesser cereal in my mind. Crunch crunch crunch went the flakes in my dry mouth…
And so on. God, who the hell reads that shit? I’d rather let Javier Bardem take a dump on my chest. Then again, I would let him do that anyways. He could take 3 paella dumps on me and I would ask for a 4th. I have issues. Anyways, moving on.

Do you like Facebook? Who doesn’t, am I right? What’s not to love about an Online Popularity Contest? So if you are on Facebook (which, don’t lie, I know you are) then you should join The Skip-Raid Facebook Fanclub. For reals. You will get updates and pictures and...uh…love? I bring you love? Fuck, just join it. Do you really need a reason? I have seen some of the lame-ass clubs you guys join, so why not join this fan club. God! That always sounds so gay to me! Did you ever belong to a fan club? I did – I was a member of the Babysitter’s Club fan club. I know, I was a fucking loser. But don’t lie to me and tell me you weren’t a member of the NKOTB fan club or something like that. A couple of friends of mine were in the NSYNC fan club in High School. And when I say High School, I mean like grade 11 or something. They were too old for that shit.
Leave what fan clubs you were members of in the comments. Oh, and don’t forget to join The Skip-Raid Facebook Fanclub.

1 comment:

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

Wow, The Mayor, just wow... I lost a little respect for you. Not believing in the Moon Landing is the shit they teach to our rivals at Schoolerton High (Our Rivals). They also learn that weird math that uses letters and shapes and Intelligent Design. You're in with a bad crowd. Fro real-real though, you should watch the Penn & Teller: Bullshit! on the subject of conspiracy theories.

Also, MEGA BONER TIME! There are fro real-real nudie pics of your favorite Spaniard floating around.