3.09.2008

From Teen to Porno; the Skip-Raid talks 'staches.

Just because a Hipster Douchbag can biologically grow a moustache, doesn't mean he should. 2 weeks without shaving, and they look like carbon copies of eachother. Then again, a so does a trip to American Apparel and a pair of Wayfarers. Hey-o! Anyways, here are a few good mustaches, and a few ones that molest my eyes. Who want's a moustache ride?!?The Magnum P.I. aka The Patron Saint of Staches
Sweet sassy, molassey - that is a fantastic stache. B-E-A-Yootiful. If Tom Selleck ever worries that he has tainted his legacy with shit roles in garbage like 3 Men and a Baby, Mr. Baseball, and playing Courtney Cox's boyfriend on Friends, all he has to do is look at this picture. He could do Air Bud 7: Doggy Style and it wouldn't take an ounce of dignity away from the man with the golden 'stache.The Silver-Dollar Railroad
Legend has it that William Taft and FDR were big-time rivals and totally hated eachother. I think I know why; Eleanor be jealous of that 'stache. Sorry, token Eleanor Roosevelt was a man over. You have to have a serious set of testiculars in order to pull off a stache this tight. Additionally, you have to have an ultra-tough job, like cattle branding or gator rasslin' if you want to keep a squirrel on your face.The Chola Mouth
It takes a real hew-mew to draw a line above his upper lip with a Sharpie.The Brown Bunny
Vincent Gallo is alot of thingds: douchebag, crackhead, putter of penis in Chloe Sevigny's pie hole. But he is a walking billboard for a stylish 'stache. I think this is sort-of what Hipsters wish they looked like when they grow a moustache.
Dear Hipsters
You will never look like The Gallo. Give up.
xo - meThe Surreal Life
Ron Jeremy is famous for being a hot piece. For me, he will always be a Surreal Life castmate. But before he was sharing a bunk with Gary Coleman, he was autofellating himself with one hell of a porn 'stache. Ew, why the hell do guys want to be able to autofellate themselves? Ugh, grosses me out.The Push Broom
This isn't a real person. Ergo, his 'stache doest count.

2 comments:

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

I have a large collection of fake moustaches that I wear over my real moustache. Fro Real-Real! I am upset that neglected to mention the Fu Manchu.

Anonymous said...

Hahah thats hilarious maybe i need too get some so i can go icognito! Fake mustache and some Wayfarer Sunglasses.