Grandma & the 3 whores

I think this may be my favourite picture of Sex and the Shitty's Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and The Other One. And just like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, I will need a shitload of peyote to make it through all 2 and a half hours of this shitshow.

But really, did any of you see this crapshow this weekend? I have it on good authority that 3 of my friends did. They are no longer my friends. Tainted! Tainted I say! Why spend your hard earned $4 on that, when you could have spent it on a million other things. Given the choice between seeing Sex and the City, and having sex with an HIV+ homeless drifter, I would go with the drifter. ONLY if he was wearing a rubber - unprotected sex isn't cool, kids. Stay in school; cover yo dick. This is a fun game! Fill in the blank:

Given the choice between seeing Sex and the City and ______, I would choose ______ because______.

Photo courtesy Best Week Ever.


//R said...

Given the choice between seeing Sex and the City and pini-poking Sarah Jessica Parker, I would choose seeing Sex and the City because the only think worse than gouging my own eyes out would be gouging my eyes out AND having to gnaw off my ramrod.

mark said...

I am mr. rinky dink.
I have seen sex and the city. here is my review of sex and the city.
if you didn't like my review of dear diary you probably won't like this one.
mr. rinky dink didn't pay to see this movie. mr. rinky dink saw this movie before kobe bryant. kobe bryant saw it on opening night. I will not say that mr. rinky dink is not rinky dink. i don't like being called rinky dink.
why did you call me rinky dink? I am really bad at internet trash talking. Is that why I am rinky dink?
maybe I will say, "fuck fuck fuck," and people will respect me more. I don't know. I need to learn to trash talk and not be rinky dink.
once there was a time before the internet when i wasn't rinky dink. I was a plan idiot. I think i swallowed a dime. And another time i ran into a tree and hurt my face. These moments are kind of stupid. I don't know what rinky dink is. Maybe you knew of these pre-internet moments and that is why you are calling me rinky dink.
I want to say rinky dink over and over again until the meaning of rinky dink is lost. i hope by then all my hard work of writing rinky dink over and over will mean that i am not rinky dink anymore. I threw up on myself. Just a little. No, that was a lie, but I do feel a little nauseous. Maybe that means the rinky dink is leaving my body. Or maybe it means that my body knows deep down that i'll always be rinky dink. I don't know.
Please help me. give me knowledge. I don't want to be rinky dink. SHow me the way. Can i eat your head? Is that a rinky dink question. I deserve an answer. or maybe i don't. I am very rinky dink. I am now thinking of zambonis. the meaning of rinky dink makes me think of zambonis. I remember one time i went to the rink(y) and i was probably holding my dink and I stepped out on the ice and fell on my back. Someone had put tape on my blades. maybe that was the reason why i have become rinky dink.
i apologize for places where it doesn't make sense. As you can see, I'm not very good at making sense.

The Mayor said...

Fuck, did someone implant a Loser Magnet into The Skip-Raid when I wasn't looking or something? Jesus Christ dude, get out side, talk to your Mom, pick some grass, get laid, anything - you're breaking my heart here. Comments that long prove to me that you spend your whole day indoors at your HP Pavillion. Please dude; when you die, do you really want your legacy to this?

ThomG said...

Given the choice between seeing Sex and the City and lancing a boil, I would choose lancing a boil because my pus has personality-plus.

gina said...

your title makes no sense/
"grandma the 3 whores"

The Mayor said...

K, fixed Gina. You happy, ese? Can you tell that I wrote that title fucked on Qualuudes?

Also, Thom G, you are my hero (but you already knew that). "My pus has personality plus". Knock it off, or I will have to give you my crown.

mayor's mom said...

I think "mr. rinky dink" is actually "Coyote" Nathan from yesterdays lineup...you know who I'm talking about Mayor!!!

Jack Gordon said...

Given the choice between seeing Sex and the City and masturbating with a cheese grater, I would choose the cheese grater because at least I could do that in solitude.

mark said...

i like the joke of get outside
I talked to my dad
I said dad
why am i a rinky dink?
he hasn't called back. I said that to him on his voice mail.
fuck fuck fuck, i said that yesterday
fuck fuck fuck, i said it today
god, loser magnet
god, loser magnet
I am a god loser magnet
I think i want to write all kinds of things and make this the longer comment you've ever had and then your mom won't call me coyote nathan anymore. she will call me the plain old coyote. let's howl. I would like to howl with your mother. is that bad? don't take that the wrong way i am a god loser magnet. you could say a bunch of things to me and i probably won't get them. get outside get outside
fuck fuck fuck i said that once. i don't know when
i don't think this is longer than my other comment. you won't read it. i don't want to tell you what computer i have (whoops i almost wrote commuter, i don't know what kind of commuter i am. i think i am a cross between a rinky dink commuter and a train rider. oh, i forgot i am the god loser magnet) i have an ibm. it is a laptop. i only play solitare on it with my hat on. get outside get outside Jesus christ dude get outside
i am not jesus christ
jesus christ fuck fuck fuck
i didn't say that
i am commenting you to death. your head is on your neck. if i made another point it would be your feet on on your legs.
oh yeah, get outside, get outside. i went outside.
i went outside and played basketball
i do it every day
i can almost dunk
two hands on the rim
get outside
i am the god loser magnet
Sometimes things look better when you look at them differently. Here:I went outside a played a very poorly played game of basketball. now i am on my ibm talking to the internet


ThomG said...

Awww, you makka me blush - AND you've got a cyber-stalker. You rock, Mayor.

The Mayor said...

I know. I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sigh.