Perez Hilton: 14 minutes, 58 seconds

Last week, Perez Hilton (who I normally wouldn't give two shits about, unless it was to make fun of him. So, here we are) was gearing up to launch the shitshow of the year; the Perez Hilton clothing line for Hot Topic (the purveyors of all things fashionable). Anyways, Monday came and went, and there was a surprising lack of mention on his blog about it. Hmmm..I wonder why? Let's ask a Hot Topic employee, shall we?

"ONLY 7 people showed up.SEVEN.That’s it.Mario was BEYOND upset texting and DEMENDING the right water,food,ETC he was a rude royal pain in the ass and BEYOND crass... My manager was trying to get people to come in to meet Perez by handing out $5 gift cards NO ONE WANTED TO MEET HIM! ...he left around 8:45PM without saying goodbye to anyone & looked like he had been crying like the little bitch he is. We sold a grand total of $6.45 of Perez Hilton items between 6PM - 9PM. My manager has already talked about discounting his ‘line’ !”

AHAHAHAHA!!! You stupid loser! Perez Hilton is such a vain, pathetic person, so I feel absolutely no guilt or remorse when I laugh at his stupid ass. He is in Toronto this weekend, and I would love to run into this assclown. With a car. Or a giant vat of hot french fry grease. But knowing my luck, it probably wouldn't affect him. I imagine he is like the monster from The Thing. That movie is freaky!!


Will O'Neill said...

This is justice. This will do.

Anonymous said...

i like to imagine his tears are made up of Paris Hilton's perfume, pinkberry fro-yo, and rat piss

Alice said...

What makes random turds think they can design any article of clothing simply because they are somewhat remotely famous and/or have famous parents/siblings and/or made a grainey sex tape?

What's next? a line of clothing from the housekeeper of the son of the guy who played Huggy Bear on Starskey and Hutch?

Hell, I'd still buy that before I bought anything that may have been touched, nay, looked at by Perez Hilton. Ewwww, he reminds me of fat guys with stains on their shirt that pick their noses on the bus.

tylerface said...

He should be cast in any subsequent workplace injury commercials.
I would die happy.

The Mayor said...

Ahahaha, that or Quest Personals ads. I think that would be justice enough. Those things are embarrassing; they prove to the world that you can barely read off a cue-card.