7.05.2008

Fuck You, Entertainment Weekly: The Top 100 List for the Rest of Us - 71-80

71. Best in Show (2000)
It is really hard to narrow down which Christopher Guest films are the best, so I had to do it through process of elimination. Waiting for Guffman is great, but it is a little too easy to make fun of small-town community theatre. A Mighty Wind was also good, but sometimes I just got too bored. Best in Show is hilarious, but it is also a fantastic film. Where Guffman’s acting was at times amateurish, and Wind’s was over-the-top, Best in Show was charming and funny and clever, but most of all, believable.
*Note: This is Spinal Tap has been left out for good reason; it makes an appearance a little higher on the list.
On EWs List? NO

72. Eastern Promises (2007)
It is more than just the shower scene. Viggo Mortensen was Russian in that movie. I don’t know what it is with Ruskies, but they all have that same haircut (even the women). But seriously, this is a fantastic film, but not for the faint of heart (you definitely see some digits cut off).
On EWs List? NO

73. Clerks (1994)
Many will argue that Kevin Smith’s Clerks is overrated. True, it is overrated. But that does not a shitty movie make. Clerks is so of-its-time (see Reality Bites) that it seems out of place in 2008. But the main reason I have put it at #73 is because of the pants-shittingly hilarious Clerks Animated Series.
On EWs List? NO

74. Pretty in Pink (1986)
Everybody always talks about Molly Ringwald’s opus The Breakfast Club.
Zzzzzzzz….
I think that Pretty in Pink is 100x more watchable and 100x less agonizingly clich├ęd. Great soundtrack, Annie Potts in the role Cyndi Lauper was born to play, Alan from Two and a Half Men (Duckie!!) and the hotness that is James Spader.
On EWs List? NO

75. Walk Hard (2007)
The AV Club recently did a review of Walk Hard in it’s semi-weekly article on cinematic flops. They argued that it is a superb little movie that does not deserve the status of flop. I couldn’t agree more. This is more than just a spoof, a lampooning of cinematic biographies. Its jokes are more than just “get it – he’s like ____”. Is it stupid that I want one of the original songs from Walk Hard played at my wedding?
On EWs List? NO

76. The Departed (2007)
Martin Scorsese is a genius. How he taught Marky Mark to act is beyond me.
On EWs List? YES

77. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Ooooh, this movie is so happy and heartwarming! Also, it has a bout of prison rape in it, so it is also a paradox. Neat.
PS – he totally killed his wife.
On EWs List? NO

78. Zoolander (2001)
I like to call this one “The Glory of Ben Stiller before he did Dodgeball (meh, issokay), Starsky and Hutch (terrible), and The Comeback Kid (please stop letting him make movies)”
I had a very difficult time deciding which was funnier: this, or Meet the Parents, but Zoolander is the clear winner. Although it was tough – I use the line “Jack talk Thai...Jack talk Thai real well” on a regular basis.
On EWs List? NO

79. Love Actually (2003)
Don’t fucking roll your eyes!! This movie is a really great examination of relationships. If you don’t feel happy at the end of Love Actually, then you do not have a soul.
On EWs List? NO

80. Bowling for Columbine (2002)
aka The Idiot’s Documentary. Admit it, even the dummies in your Shop Class saw Bowling for Columbine. I will, till the day I die, be an unabashed Michael Moore fan. And while wee are on the topic, you know who is a gasbag? Morgan Spurlock. I eat more fast food after watching Super Size Me than I ever did before. McDonalds? Delicious. KFC? Will probably be the death of me, and I don’t give a rat’s right ass. Taco Bell? If you could legally marry a corporation…you see where I am going with this.
On EWs List? NO

5 comments:

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

Love Actually is suprisingly great. I love Colin the best.

Also, in Bowling for Columbine, are you one of the Canadian youths that Michael Moore interviews in front of the fast food joint?

The Mayor said...

No! But when he goes into the "Canadian Ghetto" you can see my old house!!! (I only moved out 8 months ago)

alex davey illustrations said...

I still live in that "slum".

deadeye_davi / uncle jesse said...

Please don't mug me, you ghetto bitch!

Also where yo' crib at in the movie?

The Mayor said...

its literally when he narrates "and now I am in a canadian ghetto". I lived in the townhouses. and for serious? our neighborhood is SO CUTE.