7.17.2008

Fuck You, Entertainment Weekly: The Top 100 List for the Rest of Us - 41-50

41. Rushmore (1998)
I was so into this movie when I was a kid. I started wearing a beret all the time and named my fish Max Fischer. I wanted desperately to go to a private school, and felt exactly like Max did when he had to go to Grover Cleveland. I was so in love with Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray. I always felt so bad for Rosemary for having to choose (even though she really didn’t choose – she would have never gone for Max. Stupid Stat-Rape laws). Also, my middle name is Margaret, so when Max started seeing Margaret Yang, I thought it was meant to be. Then it turned out that Jason Schwartzman is nothing like Max Fischer; he is a rich Hollywood brat who is one Lacoste polo away from being Brody Jenner. So I am stuck being in love with a person who doesn’t exist. Sigh.
On EWs List? YES

42. Uncle Buck (1989)
There are more quotable lines in this movie than any other John Hughes film. My personal favourite? When he flips a quarter at the Maizy’s Vice Principle (the one with the massive mole) and tells her to “take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. Good day to you, madam.”

Also good? “Holy smokes! He’s cooking our garbage!”
On EWs List? NO

43. Mean Girls (2004)
I should not have to explain to you why this film is on the list. Sure, Lindsay Lohan may be box-office poison now, but let’s remember her as she once was – very funny. When she dies of a cocaine over-dose, and she will, they will play a clip from Mean Girls during the Academy Awards tribute montage.
On EWs List? NO

44. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)
I’d say that 99% of people hate, HATE, this movie. To them I say “It’s okay. NASCAR is on. Go relax, and I’ll bring you a Natural Light to calm you down. You want me to change the channel to some Blue Collar Comedy Tour? Okay, here’s you go. Ooh, looks! It’s Bill Engval!”
On EWs List? NO

45. Muriel’s Wedding (1994)
I always heard about this movie, but never watched it. I just chalked it up to a stupid rom-com or a chick flick or something. Boy, was I wrong. This is very funny and completely relateable. It sort of has moments of Eagle VS Shark, and lots of Ghost World. And, as mentioned before, it stars the criminally under-rated Toni Collette.
On EWs List? NO

46. Hairspray (1988)
Know what I love? That the movie, the musical based on the movie, and the movie based on the musical based on a movie, are all really fantastic. Jesus, John Waters must bathe in $100 bills. Also, John Waters managed to break out of his comfort zone and make a culturally significant film about racism, sexism, size-ism, and over coming really stupid prejudices.
On EWs List? NO

47. Monster (2003)
I was living with my best friend when Monster came out. She is short, had black hair, and huge eyes – just like Christina Ricci. I am tall, blonde, and (at the time) was really into ratty jeans and threadbare band shirts. The movie was great, but it ruined our chances of getting boys.
On EWs List? NO

48. Elf (2003)
Allow me to stress one thing: Will Ferrel is overrated. Please, deal with that, okay? I’m not saying he’s not funny, but he is sort of this generation’s Chevy Chase. I don’t like him when he is acting sexy. I don’t like him when he is acting like a man-child. I don’t like him when he is acting like a bad-ass. I DO love him when he is an adorable elf from the North Pole. I also love James Caan and Zooey Deschanel and I especially LOVE LOVE LOVE Bob Newhart. It may be one of the best Christmas movies. (Is it? Yeah, sure. Why not)
On EWs List? NO

49. Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Holy shit, this movie is faaaaaacked.
On EWs List? NO

50. American Beauty (1999)
An obvious choice. People always like to classify this as a drama, but it has a crapload of good jokes. Like when Kevin Spacey starts working the drive-thru and catches his wife with the King of Real Estate?

Carolyn Burnham: (to Marissa Jaret Winokur) You know, this doesn’t really concern you.
Lester Burnham: Well, actually, Janine is Senior Drive-thru Manager, so you are on her turf.
On EWs List? NO

1 comment:

shaunmichaelroncken said...

strange fact: my parents love the blue-collar comedy tour and force me to watch nascar every time i visit. so much so that i've ceased my sunday visits because i've come to realize that sunday is race day.

anyways, in a strange twist, it turns out "oh brother where art thou" happens to be their favorite movie, and my dad wants "i am a man of constant sorrow" to be played at his funeral.

...the debate as to whether my parents are white trash rages on and on and on...