7.30.2008

Fuck You, Entertainment Weekly: The Top 100 List for the Rest of Us - The Top 10 Comedies

1. The Big Lebowski (1998)
The Big Lebowski is such a great equalizer; you either love it or you hate it, and if you hate it then I don’t know you because we aren’t friends. You know how this movie stands the test of time? It didn’t have a stupid T-Shit (Vote for Pedro – a shirt which automatically tells someone I’m a Tard) or a bevy of catch-phrases (Borat, anyone? Or “You my boy, blue!” – again, unfunny) and yet, take a look at College Humor during the month of November and count how many Walter Sobchak costumes you see. My only regret is that I am a girl, and cannot dress up as The Dude for Halloween.
Shit! I just got a fantastic costume idea! Julianne Moore during the bowling-dream-sequence. Done and done. Also, Bridges is cool and everything, but you know who the real dude is? John Turturro. He's the fucking king.


2. Ghost World (2001)
Is there any movie that is as immensely funny and, at the same time, as horrifically heartbreaking as Ghost World? I really wish the ending wasn’t so sad (obvies the bus is a metaphor for suicide), and I also wish Rebecca hadn’t blown off David Cross at Seymour’s party. It’s David Fucking Cross, Scarlet! Do you know what I would do to spend 7 minutes with him? Anyways, RIP Brad Renfro – it seemed like when he died this year, everyone was just like “Who? Oh yeah” but I was like “What! Josh is dead?!?”
Also, there’s Doug, who is actually very similar to my Uncle.


3. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
I know I have mentioned in the past about my penchant for watching Holiday movies in the Summer, which may mean I have some sort of weird summer-sadness problem or something. But can we please excuse Christmas Vacation from the list of “Weird anytime but Christmas” movies, please? I can’t stand me some Chevy Chase (so overrated, and no Bill Murray I might add) but I could watch this movie 900 times. Actually, I am thinking I am getting pretty close – probably in the 700 range (for serious – I usually watch it 30 times over the holidays).


4. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (2004)
If Neil Patrick Harris wasn’t such a Homer Sexual, I would become an escort so that I could get hired by NPH. The night would involve Taco Bell and qualuudes and I would wake up in the morning pregnant. NPH would be nowhere to be seen, and I would feel as though I had just seen the face of God.
Wow, I need to stop drinking mouthwash before I write these things.


5. FUBAR (2002)
Anyone with family from up north knows that FUBAR is so close to the truth, it is essentially a documentary. I have relatives that are exactly like Terry and Deaner. I also have a friend who speaks in such a FUBAR dialect that you think he is making fun of them, but he’s not. He’s just from up north. PS – America, this is such an honest portrayal of Canada, I suggest you stop thinking Canadians live in igloos and eat seals and start thinking they all wear cut-off jerseys and zubas.
“To my right nut…see ya later, fella!”


6. Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
I can’t believe there are still people who haven’t seen WHAS’ it’s baffling. I love that it is essentially The State in film version, but with Christopher Meloni as Gene, I don’t see why people aren’t pulling out their own ovaries in exchange for WHAS dvds.


7. Super Troopers (2001)
I know that Super Troopers is a bit of a dumb-jock movie, and guess what? I don’t care. Sometimes it’s okay to like shit like this. And when I say ‘shit like this’, I of course mean ‘comedy gold’ like this.


8. Dumb and Dumber (1994)
I remember when I saw the trailer for D&D, and my mom was like “I don’t like movies that make fun of challenged people” and I chimed in “me too – that movie won’t be funny at all. Why would anyone want to see that?” but inside the whole time I was like ‘I can’t wait to see that I can’t wait to see that I can’t wait to see that’


9. The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
How cute is Steve Carell?


10. Tommy Boy (1995)
I know I have touched on this before, but for the love of everything holy Jesus, why did you have to take Chris Farley away from us?!?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Planes Trains and Automobiles?
Caddyshack?

Anonymous said...

Whoops...PT&A is #64.
JAWS? Scary EVERY time you watch it!

The Mayor said...

Oh yeah, Jaws is effing scary, but the list was in comparison of EW's New Classics. So, movies that were made after 1983. Caddyshack would have made the cut had this been a past 35 years list, but alas - that would have taken me another 48 sleepless hours of deciding which is better.

Anonymous said...

What?! No mention of "The Ringer"