7.06.2008

Fuck You, Entertainment Weekly: The Top 100 List for the Rest of Us - 51-60

51. Back to the Future (1985)
I have a love-hate relationship with the state of Florida. Everytime I visit, I get sick. And I don't mean diarrhea. I am usually hospitalized about 3 days after arrival (I am not joking, btw. People always think this is made up, but I urge you to call up The Mayor's Mom and ask how annoying it is.)
So during one trip, I was extremely sick with a stomach flu. I was in the hospital for a week (give or take a few days, I can't remember. I was 9, gimme a break). I couldn't do anything but lay in bed and suppress the hatred I had for my sister and cousin who were swimming and playing Nintendo and stuff, while I was hospitalized with an IV in my arm. I was on so many drugs, so it was difficult for me to stay awake. TBS was having a Back to the Future weekend where they played it non-stop for like, 48 hours. EVERYTIME I started to watch it, I would fall asleep. I would wake up at the credits and shake my fists to the sky. All I wanted was to see Back to the Future without passing out. I also peed on the floor of my hospital room, but that's another story for another day.
On EWs List? YES

52. Happy Gilmore (1996)
The Price is Wrong, Bitch.
On EWs List? NO

53. WALL-E (2008)
This is a perfect movie.
On EWs List? NO (but give it 10 years)

54. The Usual Suspects (1995)
Ooooh, you can't talk about any of this movie without mentioning at least 1 spoiler. The whole movie is one, big spoiler.
On EWs List? YES

55. This is Spinal Tap (1994)
Where do you start? What hilarious quote should I lead in with? Should I mention the great Simpsons appearance? My ONLY critique is that the Volume 11 joke is way over-used.
PS - my cousin's BF looks exactly like Rob Reiner.
On EWs List? YES

56. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
This is a funny one, cause it was made for Frats, and Frats didn't really like it. And it alienated everyone else, and yet it is starting to get a little cult following. Which is good, because this was enjoyable. Will Ferrell is getting a little too annoying for my tastes (but then again, I don't go to a State university) but it is John C Reilly who carries this movie. When I marry John C Reilly, our vows will be taken from the grace scene verbatim.
On EWs List? NO

57. Beetlejuice (1988)
Poor Michael Keaton. Imagine the Beetlejuice 20 Year Reunion?
Geena Davis: What have I been up to? Well, shit. Um, there was that time I was really into archery and was a national champion and almost got on the Olympic team. Then I did Stuart Little with Hugh Laurie, and everyone loves that movie. Also, I was in A League of their Own. Remember that? "There's no crying in baseball?" Yeah, I am a national treasure.
Winona Ryder: That stealing problem has done nothing to shadow my expansive career. I've had my share of misses, but thanks to films like Reality Bites, Edward Scissorhands, Little Women, and Girl, Interrupted, I still keep getting a shitload of work.
Alec Baldwin: I have been working steady for the past 20 years and everyone agrees that my role in Glengarry Glen Ross is a cinematic masterpiece. Also, I am on 30 Rock, and I do not need to explain why that is fucking amazing.
Michael Keaton: Well...I was the original Batman, and people can agree not the worst Batman, thanks to Val Kilmer. But uh, I am really busy. Me and the wife opened up a Quiznos franchise in Cattleranch TX, and it is doing some pretty good business. You gotta try the Chicken Tzatziki!
On EWs List? NO

58. Ghostbusters (1984)
The only reason this isn't higher on the list is because while it is a classic, there have just been so many funnier movies made since 1984. Also, I love Harold Ramis. He can bust my ghost anytime (what?)
On EWs List? YES

59. Wayne’s World (1992)
Am I the only one who thinks the funniest parts of Wayne's World are a) when they keep flashing back to the scene of Rob Lowe exiting his car really slowly in Wayne's driveway and b) any scene with Ed O'Neill as the Stan Makita's manager Glen.
I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it, that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic; yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?
On EWs List? NO

60. Little Children (2006)
Holy crap, Jackie Earle Haley was robbed of an Oscar. I know Oscars don't mean shit, but come on - if I saw him on the street, I would be real scared he would touch my Danger Zone.
On EWs List? NO

7 comments:

shaunmichaelroncken said...

i prefer the scene where benjamin stumbles upon garth's robot lab, and confronts him about noah's appearance on the show. benjamin tells garth that he makes him "laugh...laugh," followed by awkward silence and sneaky tippytoe music. garth says "we fear change," his robot gets spooked, then he pounds the robot hand with a mallet for an uncomfortable 25 seconds. meanwhile, rob lowe is busy being the most underrated character in the whole movie, just check out his reaction, i promise, it's perfect.

...followed closely by "if it's a severed head i'm going to be very upset," and "if you stab a man in the dead of winter steam will rise up from the wounds...indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body."

The Mayor said...

ALSO:

Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne Campbell: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it?
Wayne Campbell: Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

The Mayor said...

also also, Alice Cooper is hilarious in it too.

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

The pedophile from Little Children is referenced heavily in the American Dad! episode The 42 Year Old Virgin. Further proof that American Dad! is way better than Family Guy.

Jenn L said...

a gun rack, a gun rack!

Renee said...

http://gizmodo.com/397866/back-to-the-future-mcfly-sneakers-unboxed-going-for-2000

Alizarin said...

MY friend reading the blog behind my shoulder commented that the Beetlejuice cast list misses out on Jeffery Jones, who ended up a pedophile later on. Michael Keaton has something to feel good about.