8.25.2008

Fun Facts about...Family Matters

Just as people like shit now (The Hills, Rock of Love, Nick Motherfucking Cannon's Wild n' Out) people especially loved shit in the 90s. How else can you explain Step by Step being on the air for seven years? But of all the pure, steaming piles, Family Matters was definitely was the steamiest. And thanks to WUTV-FOX (and OMNI-1 in Ontario) you have no doubt seen every episode. But here are some fun facts that most people don't know; feel free to throw these around at your next party (uh, actually you might want to save these for a time when you don't want to be an epic loser).

Carl Winslow is a Homer Sexual
I know, right?! Now, it's only rumor, but it's apparently a rumor that is pretty well established. But come on - is there anything about this picture that's straight? Hey-o!

Hey, where did the youngest Winslow daughter go? Answer - porn.Yes, porn. Jaimee Foxworth was on Family Matters for a quick second before getting the boot (thanks to that no-good scene stealing Urkel). So what's a not-quite-child star to do? Well, you gotta keep acting. And what industry always needs down-on-their luck actresses? That's right - hard corn porn. Also, her Wikipedia page lists that she was addicted to weed. Who gets addicted to weed?!?!

Steve Urkel's girlfriend Myra is...dead?!?
Yes, Myra died, and not in the show, either! Michelle Thomas (she wasn't Myra in real life, people) died shortly after the show ended, proving that when Family Matters ended, a little bit of us died. Get it? Cause Myra was so short. Oooh, too soon? How about this one: Michelle Thomas died of cancer, which proves my theory that Jaleel White is a workplace hazard.

Eddie Winslow was in one of the highest-grossing films of 2007, and is dating Karrine "Supahead" Steffans
Well, really - who hasn't dated Karrine Steffans. But the bigger question is - what movie? Would you guess that Eddie Winslow (ahem...Darius McCrary) was in Transformers? He played Jazz, and guess what? He will be in the sequel too, which means that out of the whole Family Matters cast, Eddie Winslow is the only one to be gainfully employed (well, gainfully employed in the entertainment industry...not so fast, Jaleel White).

7 comments:

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

I keep on finding out that lots and lots of people from the horrible movies and shows that I enjoyed when I was growing up are hopelessly decease-ed. That was a wrist-slittingly awesome entry.

Alice said...

Amazing how your brain tends to put crap away on a shelf to collect cobwebs until one day, there's a post from the Mayor and blam! The goody-two-shoes lessons learned and the perpetually whiny "Did I do that?" come flooding back - like a rolling wave of poo.

Jack Gordon said...

I just ran "Jaimee Foxworth" through google with the safe-search feature turned off, and cheked the images. Thanks, Mayor, for making my morning.

The Mayor said...

Aw, shit, Jack Gordon - homegirl is a hoodrat! But, if you have a thing for ABC - TGIF stars of the 90s, then I guess she is right up your alley.

Jack Gordon said...

If only Jodie Sweetin had hit rock bottom ....mmmmmm

Renee said...

Is this one of those shows where they changed moms? Or aunts?

And was the grandma the same grandma in that shows about Dinosaurs?

I think I'm getting my family television all mixed up.

alex davey illustrations said...

My favourite scene in Family Matters is when Eddie Winslow is working on in his room, breaking a sweat, when the phone rings and he always would angrily answer "TALK TO ME"