UPDATE!!! The tampons are all gone! Sorry to those who missed out, but it goes without saying that you can probably get free tampons from your local mall's ladies room (bring a screwdriver).

People, if you know anything about me (and, thanks to the limited access option on Facebook, you know very little) you will know that I am a big-time sellout. And guess what? I don't give a crap. People sell out all the time, it's called Urban Outfitters. Deal with it.

Let's move on shall we? Waaay back in the summer I was asked by the good people at o.b. Tampons to spread the good news of o.b. Tampons. I am sort of like Tampon Jesus, I guess. Anyways, where does that leave all of us? Let me tell you kids, have I got a give-a-way for you. Do you like Tampons? Do you like o.b. Tampons? Do you like FREE SHIT!?!? Well I am giving away free trial packs of o.b. mighty.small Tampons. They literally are mighty and small; they are super-tiny and hold a Moses-parting-the-red-seas ammount of blood. What?!? We can't talk candidly about something that happens once a month? Jesus Christ, we talk about Santa all the time and the man shows up once a year. Anyways, not only do you get a trial pack in one of 4 colours (pink, teal, navy, black) you also get a HAND DRAWN PICTURE by yours truly (the question here isn't am I ripping off Joe Mathlete? It's more like how much am I ripping off Joe Mathlete. It's okay, we're friends. He's cool with it). And for all of you who received Christmas/Hannukah cards from The Mayor will know - a picture by me is something to be treasured for all eternity. And this give-a-way isn't just for girls...are you a guy? Do you want a picture too? Guess what - you can have one! You will just be getting a pack of Tampons too. Whatever you choose to do with them is your perogative. I don't give a shit - eat them, whip em at your cat, decorate your beard.

Anyways, sound like a good deal? The best part is, it's FREE. No cost to you, and your name won't be added to any lame mailing lists, o.b. won't be showing up at your house asking why you switched back to Tampax or something.

What I need you to send to skipraid@gmail.com:
- your address
- what you would like your picture to be about
- to sign your soul over to the corporate satans over at o.b. (jk)


ThomG said...

I have an original Christmas picture from The Mayor, which I actually spent $$$ and framed. Can't say that I needs some tampons, but it is a very nice gesture.

The Mayor said...

Oh sheesh, that's cute! What did I draw you again? I'm sure it was rude.

deadeye-davi / uncle jesse said...

You must send me these pontoons or whatever the hell they are called.

I also have sexy sweet Mayor art and it sits next to my autographed genuine Amy Sedaris Fake Cake (Google her if you don't understand the fabulousity) and my pink plastic lawn flamingo autographed by John Waters.

ThomG said...

Little Drummer Boy jammin' for Jesus. It's hanging in my bathroom.