Now that I have cable...guess what's back??

Image courtesy of 14.

That's right...THE HILLS!!! I really truly feel like a POW who has escaped the evil clutches of their captors and returned to a life of normalcy. Anyways, here is what happened last night, and please try to remember that I am missing like 28 episodes between this one and my last Hills post, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

Lauren...is fighting off rumours that she slept with Justin Bobby. And when I say slept, I of course mean did the dirty hair shuffle. Now, I know that people are divided. Hell, in my house we can't even talk about it cause it gets us all riled up. But I for one truly believe Lauren let Justin stick his Bobby in her Beef Curtains. There, I said it! LC is a bitch and she takes what she can get.

Audrina...still has Downs Baby Ceiling Eyes. Poor, poor girl. But yeah, she was doing a lot of finger pointing at Lauren last night. Then she had a massive revelation with her less-Downsy sister and she went to apologize to Lauren for accusing her of getting down with the brown (cause you know Justin Bobby's peen is that dirty.)

Whitney...made a brief cameo doing what she does best. Asking How was your weekend? Her show, The City, starts in 2 weeks. This is good news for me, because mid-December I get pretty stressed and have trouble sleeping.

Heidi and Spencer...wow, where do I start with these two? First off, Spencer is jokes. He's a D-bag, but he can be pretty funny. He and Heidi and Stephanie (his Amanda Bynes/Frances Bean Cobain looking sister) go to visit their Nana in Huntington Beach. They then start shit in front of Nana. I would personally never do that to my Nana cause I love her, so my sister and I usually save that shit for the ride over/the ride home.

Lo-Clops...everybody's favourite uni-vision baby is back and being more of a shit-disturber than ever before. Also, I do not know what is going on with Lo's hair, but it looking pretty janky.

Brody...had one small scene where he was shirtless in the pool. I am glad the producers finally have their shit together.

So what happens next week on The Hills? Lauren is bound to get dramatic about something, Whitney makes the transition to her new show by having an 'interview' with Diane Von Furstenburg, Audrina continues to look like a pet-store puppy (aka the result of too much inbreeding) and Heidi and Spencer elope. And get married. But in Mexico, where their union isn't legal once they return home. Sigh, this show is not much more than a project from a remedial high-school creative writing class, isn't it?


1 comment:

The Prom King said...

I get down with downs.

Audrina is my dream girl, don't ruin it for me. I refuse to believe her ears are lower set than the average person. RE-FUSE.