12.16.2008

Warning! This will seriously make you feel so sick to your stomach!!!


I need to preface this post by saying I am not a prude. I am pretty open to what people want to do in the privacy of their own home. You wanna dress up like a baby and have a stranger pour Beefaroni all over you? Go nuts, I don't care. I've made jokes in the past regarding myself, Adrien Brody, and the act of chest dumping, and while I'm 99% joking, there's also that 1% of me that says yeah, I'd totally let Adrien Brody poop on me. So while I'm about to make fun of the aformentioned video, you need to understand that it's because I'm pretty non-judgemental when it comes to sexy times (I hold the same beliefs as Dan Savage - no children or animals. I personally don't want to have sex with 8 strangers, Eyes Wide Shut-style, but if that's what you asked Santa for Christmas, well go right ahead).

Okay, so now that I have assured you that I am not some right-wing, ultra-Christian nut (like you needed convincing) this person is in love with a carnival ride.
.
.
.
Yes, you read that right. A carnival ride. Like, in love. And sexually. She truly believes (oh yeah...it's a she. I had to be told too) that the ride and her are meant to be married. Please skip to 7:00 for the weirdest part of the whole video, where it appears she connsumates their relationship.
I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING MOLESTED!!!!

I really don't get this - how can someone be in love with something. I can totally understand being in love with a pet (not sexually - that's just creepy) but when you are 90 years old and live alone, Whiskers becomes your partner. I get that. I get that my parents truly love their dog as if it was their child. I totally understand that. I also get when people are truly attatched to plants; my ex-boyfriend, for example, grew cacti. He definitely treated the cacti like his soulmates. This is why he is now my ex-boyfriend. Hey-o! (Kidding, there were many reasons).

But to be in love with a thing? You all know I would cut off my fingers for a Diet Coke, but do I want to marry the 2L bottle sitting in my fridge? Hells no! There is nothing sexual about Diet Coke. It's damn delicious, but I'm not about to pour it all over me and videotape it for YouTube.

The long and short of it is - there are people out there with some pretty weird kinks. And I'm not one to judge (unless it involves minors or animals, you sick fuck) but should I be judging this woman? If someone wants to fall in love with a blender, should I call them a fucking toolshed? I am torn. Was this woman dropped on her head and fed lead paint as a child, or is she just into some different shit?

I'm going with the first one. This bitch is nuts.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

jaw-droppingly mind boggling

Jack Gordon said...

This might actually be hot, if she were even marginally attractive.

Anonymous said...

That ride was totally asking for it.

Nicole J. Butler said...

I don't think that was consensual.

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

Bravo, la frase excelente y es oportuno http://nuevascarreras.com/cialis/ cialis precio en venezuela Forse cialis 5 mg 28 comprimidos hjmumzuitu [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]viagra cialis[/url]

Anonymous said...

Fate errori. Sono in grado di provarlo. Scrivere a me in PM, discuterne. [url=http://lacasadicavour.com/kamagra-oral-jelly/ ]acquisto cialis online [/url]Mi dispiace, ma, a mio parere, si sbaglia. Dobbiamo discutere. Scrivere a me in PM, parlare. cialis vendita on line Meravigliosa, utile messaggio