Year End Review: You Tube Clips!!!

Hey guys! This is my favourite of all my Best-Of series, because nothing brings me more joy than to clip-down some amazing clips! This year was a banner year for YouTube; less song parodies, more people falling. Terrific. Are you ready to see my favourites yet? Welcome to my...

10. Food Fight
At first I was like "ugh, typical smug North American turd makes a shitty animation about how boo-hoo-hoo America is killing everyone" and then I watched it a second time and realized I was the idiot and that this is actually very clever. It's like High School - the first time around is dumb and you don't learn anything. But now that I'm tutoring High School students, I'm re-learning all the cool stuff about History and shit. Did you know that Canada had a New Deal in the 30s, just like the US, but ours was shittier? NOW YOU KNOW!!

9. Adorable Bride and Groom
I really like that this couple just said "fuck it. Today is our day and we can do whatever the hell we want" and they have what looks to be the best wedding reception I have ever seen. Know what I love most? That they don't have this too-cool-for-school attitude about the whole thing; I sincerely hope they don't get divorced.

8. Creepy Ninja Cat

7. "Where's Satan?"
...And speaking of adorable dogs! I would have loved to put the Shiba Inu 6 in this list, but they aren't on YouTube (doye). I was cruising for Shiba videos on YouTube a while ago and stumbled across this one. Why does the dog hate Satan so much? How did the dog come to hate Satan? Is this dog Zuul?

6. Spiders on Drugs
I hate spiders, but I do love this video. So charming and cute, it made me appreciate spiders just a bit more this year.

5. Old Greg
I want the Old Greg song played at my wedding. I told my mother this and she just shook her head, because she knows that I am only half kidding. I really love this song. Imagine if me and my husband did a duet to it?? Think about how killer that might be. Well, actually, more embarrassing than killer.

4. Crazy Christian Mom from Trading Spouses
Isn't gluttony a sin? That's what I thought.

3. Scarlet Takes a Tumble
Why isn't this woman famous? Beyonce should have picked Scarlet as one of her back-up dancers for Single Ladies, because bitch has moves. I haven't seen footwork that slick since I fell down my own stairs a month ago.
PS - a month later and my ankle is still healing; I should have seen a doctor. Whoops! Me mistake.

2. "I'm Walking on Sunshine!"
Everytime I clean my keyboard at work, I put my face close to the can and think "would it be that bad? Is duster really that much of a gateway drug? I want to walk on sunshine" but I never do it because a) getting high at work is a big-time no-no (unless you are my lazy, out-of-work bum ex-boyfriend) and b) getting high from Duster? No thanks - that's ghetto with a G. I'd rather the natural high from cracking a cold can of DC.

1. Massive Zit on Massive Hottie
You all know that this video ruled my life this year. I cannot say enough about the majesty that is the Handsome Surfer Guy Getting a Cycst Punctured with a Knife video. This video is the creme-de-la-creme of this year for several reasons:
1) It is gross and I love gross shit.
2) Popping zits is very satisfying (don't act like you're above it)
3) Hotties. That guy is like a mix between Heath Ledger and the guy who comes to your house to check the hydro meter. I could easily make a joke about me letting him bust another kind of white substance all over me, but I am too demure and classy and highbrow for that kind of tasteless joke. But really, zit videos on YouTube are usually starring some greasy-ass, fat tub of lard with an armpit cycst or some Mexican kid with pimples in his patchy teenstache. It is nice to see a very attractive dude casually sipping a beer while he takes a knife to the back.
4) Momentum. This is a big one! From the minute the video starts till the end when they pull out the cheese (ew. I should not be writing this while hung-over) you are enthralled with what happens! You cheer when they make that first poke! You cry when they push it out of the skin! You can practically smell the disgusting smell! Oh god, I just barfed.
5) Video Quality. The lighting is perfect, the angles are spot-on, the sound isn't muffled. It is truly a marvel of modern cinema.

So I salute you, Zit Hottie! You are this years Chongalicious!

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