1.26.2009

Ruh-roh

Remember when Jessica Simpson was reasonably attractive? Don't get me wrong, I always thought she was pedestrian and boring, but I can freely admit that she was pretty. You can hate the girl more than a sandpaper blowjob, but you can't describe her as ugly. Anyways, it appears those days are gone. Long gone. Long John Silvers gone, if you will (fried fish!)Click to enlarge, if you think you can handle the Hutt-ness.

People, the only thing doctored about this picture is the food, which has been painstakingly crafted in MS Paint by yours truly. And this picture is recent too; from this weekend. Here on Earth. I know, right? I mean, I'm trying not to be mean, but if I were Jessica Simpson, I would be at the gym every single day (because, let's face it...she really has nothing better to do. Am I right??) It looks like she's starting to become her Planet Hiltron picture...except fatter. It looks like she went on the Micheal Phelps diet. It looks like she's already held a Superbowl party...every day for the past 6 months. It looks like she gained all the baby weight Ashlee Simpson lost.

Okay, I'll stop. But for realy, it looks like she's auditioning for the role of Edna Turnblad in Hairspray 2.

Visit Dlisted for all the picture of Jessica being the grand marshall of a Florida Chili Cook-Off. Yes, Florida. Pembrooke Pines. BITCH COULDN'T EVEN BOOK TAMPA!!

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