Phun with Photoshop w/ Kim Kardashian!!

Click to make big. See what I did there? It's called a joke.

Okay, so Complex magazine accidentally let the dogs out (so to speak) and gave us the gift of an un-retouched shot of America's Smartest Philanthropist (accent on the pist. Hey-o!). Now, I'm not one to come down hard on Photoshopping; in fact, I like it when pictures are photoshopped to hell and back. Why? Because it sends a message out to celebrities that says "Hey uggers! We'd love for you to be on the cover of Women's Fitness, but you're just too damn hideous! We're going to take a picture of you (just to get the general idea of what you look like) and then we're going to make you much skinnier, whiter, hairless, with better skin and facial features. We do this because we respect you sooooo much!!" and it really brings them down a peg.

Plus, I love seeing these side-by-sides to see just how much work they really have to do on any given day. I'd say that Kim Kardashian (famous for letting Ray J urinate on her and not much else) looks pretty good in the before. Yes, she has a bit of a FUPA, her legs are a little splotchy, her hairline is doing something weird...but overall, Kim looks great. I'd die to have a body like hers; super curvy and sexy, but she doesn't look like she skips the Cracker Barrel's grits and gravy. Good for you, girl! Plus - are you looking at her boobs? They barely even touched them - I can only imagine what a retoucher would do to my chest.

"Um...can we...I dunno...make her boobs look less like Ziploc Freezer Bags full of vanilla pudding and blue phone cables?"

I'm so pale, I'm like Slim Goodbody's kid.So imagine Slim Goodbody as a girl with blonde hair, and I dunno...holding a jello salad. I love jello salad.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If it's good enough for the Griswald's it's good enough for me!