Well, they're not getting divorced...yet

Sidebar - if any of you want to thank me for my countless years of service, I would graciously accept this mug. I love mugs, what can I say? I drink a lot of coffee. For the past 6 months I have been drinking out of a Jesus Shaves mug. I'm sure you've seen them somewhere, they sell them at Urban Outfitters.And in case you were wondering, yes, I am the Judah Friedlander of my office. Moving on to the good stuff...

Last night's Jon & Kate Plus 8 gave us a lot of things, but it didn't give us a yes or no on the divorce rumours. I had a feeling they wouldn't come right out and say it (because that would be tacky). But I wanted some dirt to keep me entertained; if I wanted good-humoured family interactions, I would just watch re-runs of Little People Big World.

First off, they kept repeating Jon going "I'm not Jon...I'm Jon and Kate plus eight". No shit Sherlock! What else did you think would happen when you signed a contract with TLC to have your entire life videotaped? Jesus Murphy, he's stupid. Then he kept mentioning that he wasn't really in this episode because he was staying with his sick Mother. Except that everytime he said it, it sounded like a 15-year-old who just got caught stealing money out of your wallet.

"I didn't go to painting because I was out of town for a full 8 days because my mom broke her leg and her husband couldn't be there to help her so like, what am I supposed to do? Let her suffer? So I went to stay with her for 8 days and that's why I couldn't be there with the kids and Kate and stuff because I had to help her cook and do stuff around the house because she's my mom and she broke her leg. So yeah, that's why I wasn't there." Oooooookayyyyeee...we didn't ask, buddy.

Then at the end we were left with this "Will They or Won't They" feeling regarding Season 5. We're at a fork in the road, people. Here is the jist of it:

Kate: wants to come back and do Season 5 because she LOVES it and it's the best job she's ever had.


So they have some issues they need to work out. Right now Jon is working at home, which he CLEARLY hates, so who knows where this will go. Kate owns Jon, so you know that there will definitely be a Season 5, but it will be a season full of an extremely aggitated and asshole-ish Jon. Do we really want to see that? Will Jon actually return? Will they get a D-vorce?? I smell a seperation. GOOD FOR RATINGS!! It's time to kick that Duggar Family's ass into cancellation. Seriously, who actually watches 17 and Counting?

But more than divorce rumours and Aaden's paint-on-the-face tantrum, I couldn't help but think: What is going on with homegirl's hair? In the words of my cousin, "Kate needs to do something about that curtain of hair". True! It is like a big sheet of hair that has been strangely fixed to her scalp. Who told Kate this was a good idea?Let's put her hair aside for a moment and concentrate on the real issue here; did anyone else notice that Kate has been hitting the Mystic Tan pretty aggressively lately?I know it's a crudely mashed together jpeg of an orange with eyes and a mouth, but come on - I'd say it gets the point across pretty well. Speaking of crudely thrown-together...Jon, your hair plugs are showing. Did anyone else see that?!?! Jon has clearly had some scalpular-mid-life-crisis work done. He's not a regular Dad, he's a cool Dad. Ah Mean Girls - you have a quote for everything, don't you?


michelle said...

I really do not understand how "celebs" could have 24 hours of camera time on them and there family, it is pretty stupid I find..

alex davey illustrations said...

I really enjoy these Jon & Kate Plus 8 posts. I've been bugging you forever to cover them. I honestly thought "Who would care about this show" at first until a girl at Ki told me it was the best show (after listing all of their names, too, which I found slightly creepy). I LURVES IT!

Sarah J M said...

Why does Kate have a reverse mullet? It's all party upfront and business in the back, which makes no sense at all.

Blogger said...

Just received a check for over $500.

Sometimes people don't believe me when I tell them about how much you can make by taking paid surveys online...

So I show them a video of myself getting paid over $500 for participating in paid surveys.