Oooh, you know this shit makes my blood boil. Seeing my man, Jonah Hill, prancing (well...shuffling) around LA with this Mayor-wannabe trick is enough to make me call up my best girls Vanna, Bernie, and Glo and shout through the phone OH NO HE DI'ANT!! How could my beautiful land-manatee do this to me? I know he got all screw-faced when I wrote about my love for that Craigslist Thug, but come on - he knew I was just joking! Don't take it personal baby, we still cool!!!

But surriously, homegirl is a straight-up Waffle Digger. She's just with you till you make Superbad 2...but when you get on, she leave yo' ass for a white girl (aka Michael Cera). Then who you gon' crawl back to, hmmm? This one? I might be with Jason Segel by then. How you like me now, huh? Leave yo moobs for some lumpy-ass freckles who was on Freaks & Geeks, you no-talent one-note bitch! You heard me!

Awww baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. You are still the love of my life.


Renee said...

someone just got cold-busted.

dylan said...

but...he's wearing a gold t-shirt?

The Mayor said...

He's amazing. He can dip his fat-ass in gold and I would still love him.