What in the name of Paul Reubens is going on here?!?

Goddamnit, Rihanna, who put you up to this fuckery?? Was it that bitch who told you there's no basement at The Alamo? Was it those bad-ass bikers? Was it the lead singer from The Champs - best known for their hit Tequila???

I really feel that Jambi and his wish-granting skills are getting a bit lazy; surely he could have granted you a better outfit that this. Ugh, the only thing worse than this outfit would be if Rihanna exposed herself in a Sarasota XXX cinema. Hey-o! See what I did there? Nothing says current like a joke from 1991. Know what's totally bizarre? I can still remember that as a kid when Pee-Wee "pulled down his pants in a movie theatre". Naturally I was imagining Pee-Wee Herman himself, along with Pteri and The King of Cartoons sitting in the AMC watching Tim Burton's Batman with his pants down. In reality, it was a scruffy Paul Reubens watching porno with his pants down. I'm sorry, I don't get why he was arrested; isn't that what XXX cinemas are for? Pants-down fun-times?? Don't they have to do thorough sweeps every hour to make sure homeless men aren't sleeping in the theatres? Don't they give you samples of Lubriderm and Kleenex at the box office? Why were we surprised when we found him with his pants down during Beverly Hills Cock? Will someone please explain this to me?

And of course, I can't mention the "there's no basement at The Alamo" scene without actually posting at. Jan Hooks, you're my hero!!

1 comment:

Alice said...

The suit is god-awful, but she adds insult to injury with that weird shellacked ken-doll hair. What's up with that?