6.08.2009

A Very Lazy Canada vs. Merica

Today's C vs. M is a little convoluted, but it works. Okay, so last week my sister and I were at Value Village. For my Canadian readers, you know that Value Village is the Mecca of second-hand shit. You can get the best clothes there and like, 90% of the people I know have furnished their home completely with things from VV. It has many nicknames: VV Boutique, The Illage, Village du Valeur (en Francais) but mostly people just rush the words together like Vallavillage. Now, in Merica, you have the exact same thing (it's owned by the same company) called Savers. I know, it doesn't have the same ring to it as Value Village; Savers sounds like a place where single moms go to buy off-brand diapers, and Value Village sounds like a quaint little hamlet where people go to purchase special treasures. Plus, Value Village doesn't have homeless men defecating in the aisles (ahem...Goodwill).
But I will say this about Value Village - they aren't picky with what they sell. For instance, one time I saw a dress with vomit all down the front. I told my sister about it and she goes "Oh yeah! That purple one! That was gross!" and I was like "Uh...no, this one was beige. You mean there are two dresses in this store that are covered in vomit?" Also, the picture frame section is amazing. Not only do they not remove the picture inside, like this one:


Need I remind you that this was in someone's house? I'd really like to imagine this was taken on their honeymoon in Nassau (mildy appropriate) and not on a family vacation (wildly innappropriate). And sometimes you get a frame with the original picture in it...sort of:


"Madison! We don't talk like that. It's Please take me to ice cream." But I love the idea of getting on someone's shoulders like Master Blaster and kicking them in the ribs and shouting "H'yah! To the living room! I desire television!!" Unfortunately, I'm 5'11, so the chance of me finding someone tall enough and strong enough to carry me on their shoulders limits me to a Gheorghe Mure┼čan / Manuel Uribe hybrid.

Anyways, the second part of this C vs. M is dedicated to my boss who just returned from a vacation in California and brought me back some Tylenol PM. We don't actually have this in Canada, and it's a damn shame. It's really a simple drug: 10 parts regular Tylenol to 1 part sleeping pill. That's it. It will take away a headache or sore back and will lull you off to sleep. It's genius, and yet the Canadian FDA doesn't think it's safe or some bullshit. And yes, it's true that Americans self-medicate mroe than anyone else on this planet, there is something to be said for practicality. I find that regular Tylenol keeps me awake; that means that if I have a splitting headache, I have the choice to a) go to bed and try to fight my way through it or b) take a Tylenol and stay up till 2am. Nonsense. Plus, have you ever had Neo-Citran? It's Tylenol PM in liquid lemon form. Canada can be so backwards sometimes.

1 comment:

PsychoEx said...

Tylenol PM is just Tylenol and some Benedryl. You can combo those yourself.