The Skip-Raid Interviews Dylan Green

Hey everyone! Welcome to yet another amazing Skip-Raid interview! This week I had the pleasure of speaking with the drummer for Juno Award-winning City and Colour (aka Dallas Green). But more than that, he's a regular Skip-Raid reader (which means he has excellent taste in poo jokes). He was kind enough to answer a few questions about his job, being a big-time Canadian celebrity, and which member of Modest Mouse called him an asshole. Here we go!

Full name: This one is easy! Dylan Travis Green

Occupation: Music guy. But I have a normal 9-5 job too at an animation company.

Where you live: Toronto! Specifically, Little Italy!

Explain to those readers who might not know who you are why you are famous.
Because there's a good chance that I'm the only person who has ever been fired from the Edge 102's intern army. And I play the drums in City and Colour.

Allow me to stupidly assume you and your brother have Noel-and-Liam Gallagher-style throw downs all the time. How many times has he thrown a bottle at your head right after you screamed "You've changed, man!"
Sadly, Dallas and I are not brothers, but that doesn't mean we don't scream at each other...actually, we don't do that either. Sorry.

Obviously you have groupies and star-fuckers and shit, but the post-show people I love the most are the guys who think you could be BFFs if you would just let them buy you a few beers and they "totally know a ton about music and let's talk about it and do you need someone to play the melodica, because I'm really good and I'm totally not doing anything right now". Do you get many of those? Any good stories?
Hmmm...that's a tough one. I don't really have too many stories about that sort of thing. I've been in bands in the past where our shows were pretty poorly attended and we ended up hanging out with the kids who showed up afterwards, but they were always really nice, so no really zany stories. Of course, they could have just been pitying us too, like "aw man, they came all this way, we should at least make sure they have gas money to get to Saskatoon."

If you could make up a stage name for yourself, what would it be?
Drummers don't get cool stage names.

If you weren't a drummer, what do you think you'd be doing to earn money?
Well, I'd probably be doing exactly what I do now, only my bosses wouldn't be bummed out that I leave every couple of months. I don't really play enough shows with the band to make a living from it, so I keep a regular job too. We'll see how long that lasts though, if I was my boss, I would be looking for a replacement. I've heard good stuff about this whole welfare thing too, so maybe I'd give that a whirl.

What is your favourite Hollywood musician biopic?
Selena. They are all equally bad though. Yes, even Walk the Line.

On your blog, you kind-of take a crack at Cracker Barrel. FUCK. YOU. Cracker Barrel is fantastic. What do you usually get there? How much do you love that sawmill gravy?
Hahahaha! I thought you might take issue with that. my beef with Cracker Barrel, besides all the racist stuff (google it!) is that I'm vegetarian, so I have a very limited selection of stuff to eat there. basically, it's pancakes. I'm sure the sawmill gravy is good...or just brown and water.

Is it hard to be on the road for so long, or is it like being on vacation?
The longest I've ever been gone on tour was about 4 weeks straight. That was a doozy because it was through the states with an old band of mine and we weren't really earning any money, so the longer we were out, the less money we had in our pockets/bank accounts. But, if the tour is a good one, it totally feels like a vacation, even though you're there to essentially do a job. With City and Colour it's always fun because I've known the guys in the band for a really long time, and we all share the same sense of humour.

What do you miss most about Canada when you're not here?
Besides my girlfriend and my cat? The money! It's colour coded for easy reading.

What's the coolest place you've been for free/the lamest place you've been for free?
I've been lucky enough to get to play some music festivals with some of my favourite bands, so I guess, getting to see j mascis and cat power for free was pretty awesome. as far as lame goes...if it's free, you can't complain! that's the rule!

What's your favourite TV show on DVD right now?
It took me a while to warm up to it, but I'm really into the US version of The Office now. I resisted for so long...but season 2 and 3 of that show were so funny. Also, 30 Rock is great, Arrested Development is easily the funniest show since the invention of the TV, Curb Your Enthusiasm is amazing too. Oh, and Dexter. I don't really watch much TV drama, because I can't take it seriously, and I'd rather spend my time laughing than being worried....but I do spend a lot of my life worrying...I guess that's why my friends call me 'whiskers'.

You told me you got to sit beside Buzz Aldrin on a flight. First off, can I assume this was first class?
Haha! Yes it was in first class. We (me and my two friends) got bumped up to first class somehow when our flight got changed at the last minute and we ended up sitting next to Buzz and his wife.

David Sedaris talks about getting ice cream sundaes in first class. Is this true?
There was no ice cream in first class...at least not on this flight, but what took my by surprise is that instead of everyone having their own TV (like on most flights) they had two TVs hanging from the ceiling and everyone had to watch the SAME MOVIE. No choice!! So weird....the people in coach all have their own TVs and can watch whatever, but we could either watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (which was awesome) or stare out the window....so much for first class.

How many nightmares have you had about his wife? Seriously, the woman is a dead ringer for the Cryptkeeper.
His wife is super scary...she does look like the Cryptkeeper, but if he had about 90 facelifts and a Botox I.V. She's like the gypsy in that movie Thinner....or for a more timely reference, she's like the gypsy in that movie Drag Me To Hell. Nightmares forever.
(L to R) Second man on the moon, where nightmares are born.

Is there a song you hate playing?
No way! I'm just happy to be playing the songs!

Does it feel like Groundhog Day when you have to play the same songs every damn day?
Have you ever wondered exactly how many days Bill Murray lives out in Groundhog Day? I'd like to know. And how come his memory doesn't get reset every day? Ned Ryerson doesn't remember seeing him the day before! I have a lot of unanswered questions about that movie.

Can I ask you your true feelings on Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"? Because I am getting really fucking tired of that song. It's the Bacon of the music world right now for me.
It's a bummer. I wish the whole 80s nostalgia / cock rock thing would go away. I was just in Vancouver last week and I was downtown when the Canadian men's hockey team won the first game at the Olympics and there was a group of dudes behind me on the skytrain in spandex and mullet wigs who thought they were the funniest dudes in the world. it made me mad, and I wanted to have a hear-to-heart with them about their comedic sensibilities, but I don't think I would have gotten though to a bunch of drunken meatheads.
See also: the Thriller dance.

Have you ever met a celebrity/musician/etc who is just such a piece of shit? Who was it (this interview has just gone Mean Girls).
the only time I've ever met a musician who was kind of mean was the time I met Isaac Brock from Modest Mouse, but he was just super drunk and trying to be funny so I don't think it counts as being mean....he didn't know what he was doing. It wasn't even mean though...he called us (my old band and our group of friends) a "collection of assholes" which we thought was super funny.

What's the best Halloween costume you've ever had?
Man, I used to be so into Halloween, but now I'm just lazy. I'd say my favourite was when I dressed up as the police composite sketch of the Unabomber...not only was it an easy costume (aviator sunglasses, grey hoodie, shitty moustache) but it got a few laffs too, and isn't that what Halloween's about?

Name the best tattoo you've ever seen:
My friend hambone has a tattoo on his leg of ODB wearing an "ODB R.I.P" shirt, while bar-b-queuing and holding a giant ice cream cone...so that's the best I've ever seen.

What stereotype makes the least amount of sense to you?
pretty much all of the racist ones...like the black people/fried chicken one. I'm pretty sure EVERYBODY loves fried chicken. It's delicious.... what's race got to do with it??

What's your favourite part of America?
Chicago, New York, San Francisco, and any place that has a Jimmy John's sub shop.

Your ideal sandwich:
Hickory smoke flavour tofurky, havarti, avocado, spinach, tomato, mustard, mayo


alex davey said...

You promised a Leah Miller question, what gives?

Anonymous said...

Your a fuckin faggot!! Go fuck yourself in the ass you twat faced cunthole. Fagtard!!