7.06.2010

Kiss Kiss Hug Hug Things I'm Into!

Okay, so I love getting hyper-into things (which would explain why I have been thinking about that fish condo NON STOP FOR REALS since yesterday) and I thought I might share some stuff I'm super into right now. I remember back a long long time ago I asked someone a question like "what are you really into right now" (I think it was Frasier Young, but I'm too not-into Googling that) and he made a cut-eye-comment about that being the kind question from a Tiger Beat magazine. Well! Who cares? It's fun to be all about stuff sometimes! It's summertime; if there's any time to get heavily involved with shit, it's now.

BREAKING BAD
Okay, I know I'm a little tardy to the Breaking Bad party, but it's not my fault! I don't have super-duper cable and my computer is an old 2002 iPad that has been dropped too many times, so I can't download TV shows. Plus, whenever I go to the Film Buff, it's always rented (Note: the Film Buff is a really cool movie rental in Toronto that isn't Queen Video: because that place has been crawling on all fours across the bridge to Lamesville, a la Stand By Me, for quite sometime now). NANNYWAYS, I started from the beginning and usually watch about 4 episodes in one sitting and now I'm in the middle of Season 2. Stray observations:
- I love Hank!!! I thought he'd be such a dickbaggy character in the beginning, but I am really loving him. Also it's so sad that it looks like Walt jr. looks up to him more than his own dad :(
- Skyler is SUCH. A. BITCH!!!!! I really hate her character and I hope she dies in childbirth. Spoiler for myself: I know she doesn't, but honestly, if any of the writers out there are reading this (they're not), can you please please please have her blow up in a meth essplosion?
- Am I the only one who finds Walter White hot? And not Bryan Cranston, either, because we always knew he was hot (Hello! Dr. Tim Whatley!!!) but I mean Walt. I think Walt is hot (especially when he shaves his head).

- Walt jr. actually has CP in real life - cool!
- My favourite secondary-character is definitely Jesse's friend Badger.

BURGER KING
Okay, for the longest time I was extremely loyal to McDonalds. I used to imagine being on death row and requesting 2 Big Macs (no onions) filled with poison. That would mean I would die by slowly falling asleep right after eating the most delicious burgers known to man. WELL! Can I tell you that I recently discovered The Whopper? I know. I can't believe I wasted so much time on that McDonalds shit. I also just found out that the Whopper only has 670 calories; I know, I'm sure there are plenty of you scoffing and turning up your nose going "670? EW. I hope you choke, you fat pig" but really, that's not terrible considering I usually eat a small yogurt for breakfast and toast for lunch. If anything, I'm losing weight (UNTRUE FOR LIFE). Anyways, Whoppers are really really out of control delicious and I totally understand how these guys feel:

I do not want to imagine the rising anger in my heart if I were to go to Burger King and they told me they don't sell the Whopper anymore. I honestly don't know what I'd do. Actually scratch that, I know exactly what I'd do: I'd ask for 2 cheeseburgers dressed like Whoppers. I"m sad :(

DRAWING
I know it's silly, but I've recently got back into drawing again. A few friends and myself (shoutout to Ben, Albert, and Steph aka Grandmaw's Kids PATENT PENDING) have started getting together to draw comics, and I have been training myself to use a Wacom tablet to draw portraits. For example, here's my personal idol Chloƫ Sevigny:

Here's Salt-n-Pepa:
And everyone's favourite bloaty drug addict, Lohan!
My sister says it looks more like Khloe Kardashianiahan. Either way, it's super unflattering. In other news, I'm running out of people to draw. I'm thinking that I might do Kesha (refuse to type that dollar sign), Busy and Amanda from Ready or Not, and maybe Rich from Fourfour (which means I also should do Tyra). Oh! And I've been drawing perfume bottles. Look out, Britney Spears's Curious, you're next!

REVLON BLACK CHERRY LIPSTICK


I used to use Clinique Black Honey all the time till death do us part, but lately I wanted something a little less balm a little more standouttish. I feel like Summer is lipgloss overload; everyone and their mom puts away dark, thick lipsticks in favour of balm and gloss. Why?!? Summer is the time to gonuts for donuts on lipstick! I have three that are in my regular rotation: a very thick, bright electric pink gloss (that I accidentally threw in the trash and had to fish out - not good), a VERY BRIGHT purple-pink colour (I think people have been calling it thistle), but this super dark, black-purple is my favourite. And people! Stop saying it's So 90s: in the 90s, you either wore black (cause you were goth 4 lyfe) or matte brown (that you had to sneak out of the house and put on on the bus, like some of us). People weren't that hot for dark purple lips, k? Not 90s.

REPLACING THE WORD GIRL WITH SQUIRREL IN SONGS

Seriously, try it! It makes Katy Perry's California Gurls much more tolerable. If you think you're up to it, you can also make up squirrel-specific lyrics:
California squirrels/we're furry animals
Tiny paws/with nuts in our mouths

Now, I can't say this is something I just got into; my best friend and I have been replacing girl with squirrel for years, but for some reason the summer is a great time to make up goofy songs and stupid jokes. Drop down and getcha eagle on, squirrel!

PRESIDENT'S CHOICE BLUE MENU SELTZER

Oh my god, I could drink 8 bottles a day of this stuff. It's just water and carbonation and a tiny bit of natural flavour. This picture is of a bottle of cucumber flavour, but I have never seen that at my grocery store. I prefer lime, hands down, but I also like the pomegranate-blueberry one. Seriously, it's JUST WATER! I have no idea why I'm addicted. The flavour is so mild that you can barely taste it, and it's so good on a hot day (which brings me to my next point....

COLD SHOWERS

Okay, first things first, I need to stress that I am about to complain about the heat (like anyone isn't, doye) but that my American readers need to understand something about the weather in Canada. "Hot" for you is about 100 degrees, right? Oh shit, this is going to get confusing because I need to make it so my Canadian readers also understand the temperature...okay, let's try this:
100 degrees F for you is very hot. 100 degrees F for us is a little less than 40 degrees C, which is also fucking hot. Duh! Even though the units of measure are different, the temp is still the same. Now on to my point: "cold" for you is about 50 degrees F, which for us is only 10 degrees C and...sadly, not terribly cold. It's not warm, either, but it's sweater weather. Now compare that to our average winter temperature: -20 degrees C. That's -4 degrees F. That's like Hoth to you people. So imagine Canadians, who aren't terribly bothered by freezing, death-cold, carve-out-a-Tauntaun-and-hide-inside weather and then throw the same hot weather at us. Exactly, we have trouble adapting. Anyways, I don't have air conditioning in my apartment so it gets a little hot (and by a little, I mean like it feels like I have the oven on all the time) and I have needed to come up with creative solutions to help me sleep. Here is what I do:
1. First things first, move as if you're in slow-mo; you're in your own home, you have no where to go. Moving fast and doing things will only have you working up a sweat.
2. Run a bath and let it sit. You want it to be room-temperature.
3. While you're waiting, find a book or a magazine you'd like to read! Right now I'm reading Ruby by VC Andrews (it's SUPER TORRID)
4. Settle into your bath with your book, a bottle of seltzer, hell - turn on the tv, and stay there for about 1/2 hour (or longer) till your body temperature drops.
5. Get out, and only partially dry off - you want to have a cool mist on you.
6. Sloooooooowly walk to your bed
7. Lie on your bed and turn on a fan, full-blast, and angle it on your body.
8. Relax and close your eyes. Don't think about the heat. Let your mind wander off. Soon you'll be asleep!

ORANGE HAIR

When I got back from Florida I decided to try to strip my own hair. Not really a great idea, but it's just hair, so who cares? It didn't go brown like I thought, but lightened up to a blondie-orange colour. Kind of like Shelley Long in Troop Beverly Hills (aka THE BEST IN THE WEST IN THE EVER!!!)

Okay, my hair isn't nearly as good - it's straight (wamp wamp) and I have dark roots coming in. Oh, and I found out that I also have a buttload of greys in the back. So my hair is orange-blonde on the bottom and grey-brown on the top (best mix ever?) Anyways, I luv it, so not changing for a while! My roots are only about 3" long, so I can't wait for my hair to be half-and-half (DREAMY!)

PJ SOLESSeriously, how fucking amazing was PJ Soles?!?! She got to kiss Bill Murray AND sing with The Ramones AND was her own stunt-double in Carrie AND was also in Halloween AND was super cool forever! I really wish I could be her, but I look super bad in hats.

THIS CAT
Um, hello? Best ever? Want to snuggle for life!!!

1 comment:

SJM said...

Best post in the past year. That could be the wine talking though.