Cathy Friday

Like Family Circus, many people love to rag on Cathy. I totally get Cathy - that shit is stupid - but Family Circus? Am I the only one who actually likes it completely un-ironically? I read it almost every day, it makes me smile; this could be because I have suffered lasting damage from painting my apartment with the windows closed, but probably just because my standards are much lower than yours. If you want really charming, hit up a vintage bookstore and find a Family Circus book from the 70s. It's really cute and there's no reference to technology or Sarah Palin or Mommy working outside of the house (like it is now). Just Jeffy being cute and Dolly being annoying and Billy pooping black dashed lines all over the neighborhood.

Anycreepychristianfamily, I was thinking about Cathy comics recently so I went back and read a few from the past month. Holy shit, Cathy got bleak. Long gone are the days of Cathy fighting the good fight against bikinis and ice cream. All she does now is complain about her husband and live a generally depressing existence. So I thought: Why don't I do a weekly thing when I talk about Cathy? I know, someone out there is snickering Comic Curmudgeon did it, but Josh doesn't really talk about Cathy, so we're good. Anyways, here we go!

Click to make big.

Okay, so here's what you need to know: Cathy and her husband Irving (sidenote: Irving? The fuck kind of name is Irving?) are on vacation in some kind of warm climate. Irving seems to care more about his phone than his wife, and, quite frankly, I don't blame him. Cathy is a naggy bitch. If I were him, I'd sign her up for 8-hour massages every morning and hang out at the swim-up bar getting loaded on margaritas all day long, but then we'd be encroaching in on Breaking Bad territory, and we all know that Breaking Bad does family disfunction the best. Okay, back to the scene. Irving is calling his office to see if they miss him while on vacation. This irks Cathy, and no doubt most of you are reading this thinking "Irving, you tool. Put down your phone and enjoy your vacation". But! I can sympathize with Irving; every time I go on vacation, I spend the whole week thinking about all the ways they're going to fire me on my first day back. On my last vacation I was sure that I was going to come back to work and find everything from my desk in a banker's box along with a note saying "DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS ON THE WAY OUT". Irving, like me, is clearly very neurotic, so I get why he wants to waste all his long-distance daytime minutes calling his work.
Long story short, the call gets dropped (what is this, 1999?) and Cathy sits smugly in the...pool? What the hell are they supposed to be in? A rectangular hula-hoop? If they are in the pool, am I to understand that Irving is the type to wear a t-shirt in the pool? LOSER!!! Oh my god, is Irving the fat kid from Stand By Me? But the biggest "wow, Cathy is a bummer..." is in the final panel when Cathy thinks "So much appreciation for the intuitive device. So little for the intuitive human." Wow. Cathy just acknowledged that her husband appreciates his iPhone much more than her. Ouch. And while they're on vacation too. I'd say poor Cathy, but I can't take that much pity on a woman who chose to wear such a hideous looking sunhat and/or marry a man who wears a t-shirt in the pool.

Funny: 0/5 - Oh wow, this wasn't funny in the least. I don't know how this qualifies as a 'comic'

Depressing: 3/5 - It's really more of a bummer. Depressing would be if Cathy caught Irving deeply inhaling the scent of the iPhone through the case like Heath Ledger at the end of Brokeback Mountain.

Does this warrant a spot in the newspaper? No. There was nothing entertaining about this strip in the least. It fails as a comic (doesn't make me laugh) and would drown over on the political/social cartoon page (because it doesn't have a drawing of Obama with huge ears and teeth).


Irving said...

I think he's ashamed of his body, and wears that t-shirt in the pool to distract from his freakishly long + expanding forearms.

Renee said...

There's a lifetime original show called Drop Dead Diva. When I saw the woman who plays the lead I said out loud to nobody "She should play Cathy in the The Cathy Movie."

Shirt in pool? My guess is that Irving has moobs. And that Cathy complains, in the least funny possible way, that his boobs are bigger than hers. ACK!!!

The Mayor said...

Irving: Irving has a whole Boston Market of buffet items he should be ashamed of: long expanding forearms, vacationing at a place whos pool is only able to accommodate two adult bodies, being married to Cathy...

Renee: I HAVE SEEN DROP DEAD DIVA! Well, the previews anyways. So I can at least say I am familiars with it. Also nobody NOBODY should play Cathy in a Cathy movie but the CGI representation of Cathy. A human could never successfully represent all that is good and holy with Cathy.

Also note: there was a made-for-TV movie about Cathy (I KNOW! I CANT!!!) and Cathy Guisewite won an Emmy for it. Yes. Cathy Guisewite has a mothertrucker Emmy award. SHAME

Josh said...

"AACK! After 34 Years, Cathy Comic Strip Bids Farewell"

Ky said...

I haven't read any new Family Circuses, but I totally hear you about the charming 70s stuff--especially the black dashed lines.