8.13.2010

Cathy Friday

AAAACCCK!!!! Are you kidding me???!?!?!

`Cathy' comic strip ending after 34 years
(Associated Press)

Just when I think of one (ONE) good idea, that bitch Cathy Guisewite ruins it for me. Well shame on you Cathy, you selfish slag. You owe me at least 2 months of Cathy comics (because, let's face it...I would have kept at Cathy Friday for about 2 months before losing interest/getting bored/moving on to something food-based).

Shit, looks like I spoke too soon - I just checked, and the last Cathy comic strip will run on October 3rd. Looks like I still have 2 months worth of Cathys! Let's get to todays, shall we?

Click to make big.

Okay. This strip's star is Cathy's mother (who's name I'm far too lazy to Google) complaining in the way only dementia-stricken seniors can about...photography? Whaaaa? An old person complaining about an even-older technology like photography? Where ya taking this one, Cathy Guisewite? Cathy's mother complains that she takes too many pictures; are you kidding me? Cathy is so boring that her biggest, most life-shattering vice is photography. Not smoking. Not drinking. Cathy was single well into her 40s and complained and whined about every minute of it, so if I had to wager a guess as to what her obsessive habits were during that sadly single time in her life, it would be either crysturbation, cat collecting, or both. Cathy's mom is freaking the fuck out like the moms on A&E's Intervention. Um, why? As far as I know, the only people Cathy interacts with on the regular is her dog Electra, the few people in her office who don't avoid her, and the woman who sells her bathing suits; so really, who the hell is Cathy taking pictures of? Herself? EW. Imagine looking through 600 close-up pictures of Cathy? That's like a dare! Gross!!! Moving on.

In panel three, Cathy's mom, who was previously in an old-fashioned picture framing set-up from the 1920, is now in a weird starbust version of said framing device. And yet she's looking at pictures online. But Cathy has chosen to illustrate old fashioned picture mats. What. The. Fuck. No wonder this strip got canceled (oh, excuse me...retired. Yeah right. Cathy, just admit that no one wants to read your piss-poor excuse for a comic strip anymore and you got canned). Blargh. Okay, so Cathy's mom pulls a 180 and starts gushing over god-knows-what. Whatever it is, she's loving it. I'm just shocked she knows how to use a computer. Frame 4 introduces us to Cathy's father who looks WAAAAAAY younger than his wife. Papa Cathy looks like he's 60 and Mama Cathy looks like she's 112. He says "when Mother says there are too many pictures, she means there are too many pictures of other things besides her baby." CATHY IS A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN!! It's no mystery that Cathy is as fucked up and boring as she is; her mother still refers to her as a baby. Also Cathy's father refers to his wife as "Mother". Also Cathy is wearing a sweatshirt with a heart on it. Cathy's mother is obsessively lusting after more pictures of her daughter.
Somebody call Harmony Korine, THIS STRIP IS TOO WEIRD!!

Funny: 1/5 - It's funny to laugh at how senile Cathy's mother is, although laughing at people in the throws of crippling senility isn't that funny, so I might just knock this down to 0.5/5 for good measure.

Depressing: 5/5 - Depressing in two ways!
1) Imagine if your own mother obsessively looked at pictures of you online, then asked you for more. Then complained that there are too many pictures that aren't you and wished you'd take them down and replace them with more pictures of yourself. Erp.
2) Cathy's mother wants to look at pictures of her Daughter so much that it leads me to believe she never sees her in person. Aw, Cathy! Visit your mother more, you asshole! She just wants to look at your pretty face (typing that made me barf).

Does this warrant a spot in the newspaper? No. If anything, this just reminds all the oldies that their kids don't visit them enough, and when they do, they show up inappropriately under-dressed in an outdated sweatshirt.

2 comments:

Anne Andrews said...

When you have a 40-year-old baby yourself, you'll understand.

The Mayor said...

Ugh! Anne Andrews! What is it with parents acting like single/childless persons can't feel love? I can't feel pride for my sister? I can't revel in the happiness that comes with seeing my fish recognize my face when I get home from work? I can't help the kids I tutor grow and learn?

Fuck you, Anne Andrews. I know love, and it doesn't take manufacturing a human in my womb to know such thing exists.