8.20.2010

Cathy Friday

No intro this week, just right to the 3-panel dogturd that is Cathy. Let's go!
Click to make big.

Okay, so Cathy is clearly back from that depressing vacation with her husband. Thank god! Now he can stop embarrassing her by wearing a t-shirt in the pool and go back to embarrassing her by simply existing. Anyways, Cathy comes back to work and all her office chums crowd around her like the Head Plastic that she is. As to the If. I highly doubt that a middle aged Debbie Downer like Cathy has as many as 4 friends. I mean, sure - maybe that bald guy; he looks like a 40-year-old virgin who still lives with his mother, so I could see why Cathy would be cool in his eyes. But the others? They're definitely there just to make fun of Cathy and her husband. If only Cathy Guisewite made a comic about the 3 of them waiting for Cathy to return from vacation. I bet it might go a little something like this:

Blonde Woman: Oh my god, did you hear Cathy and Irving are going to Mexico?
Jim Halpert: Shit, I bet her husband wears a t-shirt when he goes swimming.
Brunette Woman: I bet they asked for a room with two double beds.
Blonde Woman: I really need to see pictures from her vacation; I bet they're so gross. You know his back is probably covered in hair and zits.
Jim Halpert: I'm sure both of them have backs covered in hair and zits.
All: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Brunette Woman: Oh god, Cathy is so gross.

Exactly. Then Cathy gets back and is BEGGING for attention and everyone is rolling their eyes and making faces behind their cubicle walls like "OMG the beast is back!" But I just noticed something very interesting: the first panel has the loser saying "Of course we want to hear about your vacation pictures!" which would insinuate that someone had proposed or ask if anyone wanted to view said vacation pictures. Which would mean that no one asked to see them. Which would also mean that Cathy had to come back and ask if anyone wanted to see them. This, of course, is a rhetorical question, because no one in their right mind actually wants to sit through 10 of the longest minutes of their life looking at jpeg after jpeg of the ocean on Cathy's Dell laptop. Moving on.

The second panel is rife with pointless questions that have never, ever been asked in real life. When is the last time someone was like "Hey! I finally have pictures of my new dog Truffles. Does anyone want to see them?" and you were like "Not really. I'm more excited about is whether or not you use Flickr or Photobucket. Your dog I could give two shits about." Obviously, no one talks like this, but this is the Cathy-verse, where hats are worn on the feet and hamburgers eat people (wait...that's Rand-McNally).

In the third panel, Cathy has had enough of her co-worker's stupid questioning and she gets down to brass tacks: do you want to see Cathy's bloated and pasty-white body in a bikini or not?!? As it turns out, no. No they do not want to actually see the pictures. Frankly, I'm with them; there is nothing more horrific to me than the possibility of having to feign interest at Cathy's grotesque vacation pictures. I'd rather ask Cathy about the minutiae of photo editing/saving/sharing than have to actually see said pictures. "Cathy, at which resolution do you typically save your images? How about file sizes; how many images do you usually compress? Do you own a light meter? Which one? Can you show me online which light meter you would suggest I buy?"

But I think my favourite zinger of all is when Cathy asks "Does anyone want to see a vacation picture?" and they reply "How would that enhance our experience of life?" AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Good one, guys!

Funny: 5/5 - Watching Cathy get such an epic burn made my week.

Depressing: 1/5 - It's only depressing from Cathy's POV, but really - who the hell chooses to see their world from Cathy's point of view? Exactly.

Does this warrant a spot in the newspaper? Yes! The only thing better to happen in the world of Cathy was finding out the strip got canned.

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