Cathy Friday

Welcome back to Cathy Friday! This week's Cathy gives us a sneak peek into the lives of Cathy's in-laws, and just as you've imagined, they're as neurotic and hopeless as Cathy and Irving are.

Click to make big.

Okay, so in panel one we are introduced to Irving's parents, Curly from The Three Stooges and a fatter version of this old lady. Thankfully, Cathy Guisewite knows her readers are criminally stupid so she repeats the reason why Irving's parents are living with them. The mortgage crisis! Okay, here's my question: Cathy and Irving are like, what, 40? So let's safely assume their parents are at least 65. You mean to tell me that they never once thought about putting away for a rainy day aka not blowing all your money and making sure your house is paid off? Come the hell on. Also why are they wearing formal clothing while Cathy and Irving are dressed in tracksuits? Maybe Irving's parents are...a little...um....this?

It makes sense, right? Okay, whatever, so Mama Irving (I don't care to Google her name, but I bet it's something like Eunice or Heloise) is freaking the fuck out on her son because she wants to stress that her and her husband did not want to move in and burden Cathy and Irving. Trust lady, unless you're eating her Snak Paks of Chips Ahoy, Cathy doesn't know you exist. She's like a Predator; all she sees is the red-orange outline of objects that contain high fructose corn syrup and/or trans fats.

In the second panel, she's still bugging out on Irving and it looks like she's either choking him or making him nuzzle into her ample bosom, both of which are effing weird. She's really worried that she has moved in and made Irving instantly regret letting them stay because she's a nagging, critical, beeswax-making machine. Irving is like "No Mom, knock it off, you've been great". Hell, we even get a third whole panel of this just in case we thought Irving was lying or insincere (truth: we don't care that much). He's finally convinced her that, in their time of need, Irving and Cathy were happy to open their home to such grateful house guests and he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Aw, it's actually kind of touching, really.

Get ready to throw all that touching out the window, because panel four introduces us to the other side of Irving's mother; the scheming, conniving, shithead. Yep! She only moved in with Cathy and Irving to mooch off them, disrupt their lives, spread gossip, nag the hell out of them, and generally make their lives miserable. Wow. Lady, you are a piece of work, you know that? I think what's even worse than this is the realization that there is, in fact, a character in the Cathyverse that I hate more than Cathy.

Funny: 0/5 - There are two main themes in this strip: the sadness that follows being evicted from one's home after it is foreclosed upon, and the sheer hatred Cathy's in-laws have for her and her husband. Neither is funny.

Depressing: 5/5 - See above.

Does this warrant a spot in the newspaper? Let's put it this way: I'd rather read You Can with Beakman and Jax.


Alice said...

I hate Cathy and her beady little "too-close-together" eyes.

Jess said...

Beakman and Jax are the shit.