9.16.2010

Cathy Friday

Hey everyone! I apologize for not writing a post between this week's Cathy and last week's Cathy. With so many Cathy posts and so few poo/fart/candy/America posts, one thing is for damn sure: in the eyes of Google, The Skip-raid can officially be classified as a Cathy fan site. Yeah, I know - fire up the screen printer, we need to crank out 2000 Cathy fan t-shirts for cafepress.com, or else the terrorists have truly won. Moving on. Let's talk about this week's Cathy!

Click to make big.

Okay. Panel one has Cathy meeting her friend Charlene at a nondescript cafe. Judging by the height of that cafe wall, it looks like the owner has converted an old High School gymnasium into a quaint cafe. This in itself sounds like a terrible idea, but paired with the notion that people the likes of Cathy (rude, demanding, impossible to please) and her dumpy friend Charlene are customers, I have a feeling that sign on the door reads "CAFE CAFE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. THANKS FOR 2 GREAT MONTHS." But more than that, are you looking at how dumpy Cathy's friend Charlene is?!?! Holy crap, this woman makes Cathy look like Angelina Jolie.

Carried over from panel 1, Cathy's gross friend starts bragging about how Cathy really missed the boat because she has yet to meet her VSS (very special son). Ugh, this woman, am I right? Cathy compliments her on how sweet her baby girl is and Charlene launches into "what, this old thing? You should meet my son! He'll rock your world 8 days till Sunday then come back and slap the taste out of your mouth!" Jesus Christ, for once I'm with Cathy on this one; Cathy Guisewite doesn't draw it, but I can only imagine she wished she could have drawn a little thought bubble over Cathy's head that reads "I didn't ask, bitch". Oh well, Cathy, you should know better; it looks like Charlene doesn't have much to talk about, so give her a good 10 minutes and yet her feel good about herself for once, k? Not everyone needs to hear about YOUR bikini problems or YOUR mommy-issues.

So Cathy drives home in an esoterically-old burgundy Cadillac or something. Seriously, Guisewite couldn't Google what a SmartCar looked like? Or like...anything made post-1998? Whatever, she gets home and she's greeted by her two dogs who, rather than sit, jump on her and show her how much they missed her. Wow, dogs truly are the animal that loves unconditionally, eh? But that's cool - even Cathy deserves love from her poochies. Plus, I bet they love her because they're no way she'd ever be so desperate as to eat their food (...or is she?)

Anyways, that's it. I guess we're supposed to make up the joke ourselves? This is a Choose Your Own Adventure now, yes? Oh brother.


Funny: 3/5 - I guess it's funny to laugh at the idea of Cathy calling up her dumpy, baby-maker friend Charlene being all nice like "you know what? I bet Charlene would love to go out for lunch and catch up. Her life is probably all Baby Einstein-this and Yo Gabba Gabba-that. I bet she'd like to talk about grown-up stuff, maybe even gossip about the old gang" and then it's 2.5 hours spent talking about baby dumps and sleeping routines. HA HA HA HA Cathy...you should know better.

Depressing: 5/5 - See above. The worst part is, no matter how cool the parents, they still all turn into this poo-obsessed sleepless parental zombie.

Does this warrant a spot in the newspaper? Yes, because you'd have to be an idiot not to realize that this strip is thick with foreshadowing. CATHY'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!1!!

I know. Shudder.

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