12.08.2010

It's that time again!

It's the holiday season! Remember when I used to make people Christmas cards and mail them out, and then I got lazy and stopped, then I regretted it because I effing LOVE drawing Christmas cards for people and mailing them out? What? Exactly. So this year, 2010, I will be returning to the grand old days of yore when I used to draw Christmas/Holiday cards for people. And just like days of yore, you ask me to draw whatever you want, and I'll do it! For instance, if you were my sister, you might ask for a drawing of a joke your ex-boyfriend's Grandmother told one Christmas. It might look a little something like this:

Click to make big. Trust, you'll want to see all the painstakingly beautiful details.

In case you're curious, the story goes as follows:
My sister was at her ex-boyfriend's house for a Christmas party and his old Grandmaw comes up to my sister and goes "Would you like to hear a joke?" Obviously my sister says yes, and then she says "I just got a new tattoo. Would you like to see it?" Assuming that she is in the throwes of Dementia, and has forgotten that she just asked my sister if she'd like to hear a joke, my sister says yes, she'd love to see her new tattoo. So the Grandmaw goes "it's a tattoo of a little mouse and I got it on my hip....let's see if I can't find it for you" and she's pulling at her shirt and the waistband of her pants looking for this mouse tattoo that can't be found and she goes "Oh! My pussy ate it!" and my sister laughs a little to break the ice but inside she is SCREAMING AND WINCING WITH EMBARRASSMENT. She was so grossed out to hear an octogenarian use the words "my pussy" in a sentence that she was scarred for life. Luckily for me, I wasn't there, so I get to enjoy the story second-hand. Anyways, the first panel is pretty much what happened, and the second panel is how we both imagine the scenario went down. It's magic.

All I ask is that you ask for something relatively festive. Some cards in the past have included:

- Cats decorating a Christmas tree
- Santa boxing Jesus
- Jesus as a hacky-sack playing hippie
- A Christmas portrait of Tyra Banks's massive forehead

And all I need from you is your mailing address. That's it! It's free and it's fun. Plus, you then have a fabulous illustration to place upon your hearth or fridge (probably fridge).

So if you want a home-made Christmas card by me, The Mayor, send your mailing address to: skipraid@gmail.com. As always, your address will never be published and your email is deleted the minute I write your name on the envelope, so don't expect a bunch of weird porno showing up in your mailbox or the feds parking a white unmarked van outside your house.

2 comments:

Abby said...

Do you mail to destinations outside of Canada? Or is this offer for locals only?

Death said...

OMG, Mayor, you've made this girl very,VERY happy! You've outdone yourself with my "kitty trucker plunging over the cliff" card. I thought that maybe it was offensive to suggest a card making-light of someone's death, but this card is BRILLIANT!! Argh, it's so brilliant!!

I wish you the BEST 2011 you could possibly imagine.

Love,

Death Plunge Trucker