3.29.2011

Hi American readers! Will ya send me some motherfucking Peeps?

This morning I was reading one of my favourite blogs (the sadly lazily-named Candy Blog) and to my surprise, they did a little post about Marshmallow Peeps. I love Peeps. I do, and not just for the cute irony. We all know people who, around Easter/April, are all "OMG LOL PEEPS!!! I LOVE THOSE!! SO YUMMERS!" but then you watch them take one bite and they grimace? Yeah, exactly. You don't love Peeps; you just love the idea of putting them in an intricately designed diorama about Glee or something. I, on the other hand, love the taste of Peeps. There's something so satisfying about that first crunch of sugar before you hit marshmallow. Or when you bite off the eyes and convince yourself that the eyes taste different, even though they're just little dots of brown royal icing. Oh my god, I'm getting a little too excited about Peeps right now. I'm actually typing with a smile (I HAVE FOOD ISSUES FOR REAL). Anyways, herein lies the problem. In Canada, we don't get nearly the flavors that Americans do; fuck, such is life, right? I guess that's the trade-off for having Free Healthcare. We get to go to the hospital any time we want, and you get a milli flavours of candy and chips.

So whatever, back to my point. On Candy Blog they were talking about some chocolate-dipped Peeps. Um, esscuse me? Chocolate-dipped Peeps? Yarlee, that sounds delicious. What a dream. And they come in milk and dark? AND they also come with chocolate-mousse flavoured marshmallow? Stick a fork in me, I'm done. I want all of those. I decided to go to the Peeps website to learn more. Have you ever been to the Peeps website? You need to see it. It's so goddamn adorable. A marshmallow Peep bunny in a sailor suit greeted me. Is this real life? On to the delicious Peep varietals. You can choose different holidays, because Peeps aren't just for Easter any more (these ain't your Mother's Peeps. HOLLA) but I decided to just stick with Easter Peeps. I mean, the other holidays are pretty lazy. What do they do, heart-shaped marshmallows on Valentine's Day? Boooooring. Tree shapes at Christmas? Snoooore. Easter is more fun.

Peeps Chocolate Dipped Marshmallow Chicks
Um, yarm? Could these be delicious? Answer: yes, absolutely. Crunchy sugar, soft marshmallow, creamy chocolate. I want these now. And can you get them in Canada? Nope! Cammon, it's not like we don't like chocolate and marshmallow-y things here. I want to try both. Also, these are the ones that come in chocolate-mousse Peep with chocolate on the bottom. Oh my god, that sounds narmally. Also Peeps come in a lot of different colours in the States: yellow, orange, pink, green, blue, purple. We get yellow, and sometimes pink if we're lucky. And yes, I get that the colour of sugar doesn't really make a difference in taste, but I don't care. It tastes different to me. Sometimes I want a green Peep. Or a purple Peep. I don't want to always be stuck with yellow. Peeps are multicultural: I should be able to celebrate that.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I really want some American peeps. Here is the trade-off: if you send me some amazing American Peeps, I will draw you something really really good. Better than a Christmas card. And it can be anything. And you will go crazy for it. So is that alright? Send me Peeps? I'll send you a drawing? Or something very very Canadian? It will be like having a pen-pal (except the pen-pal on the other end will be dying for marshmallow candy, which is all kinds of sad).

Email me at skipraid@gmail.com for more info. SEND ME YOUR PEEPS!!!!

7 comments:

Elizaveta said...

HA... i don't want to get punched in the face unless you have chocolate mousse mutherfuckin' peeps squeeshing out of your fist.... I love your posts.... you make me garfuffle.... and now all I want is a giant sized peep that says yarm yarm yarm over and over again while popping to ice ice baby in the background...

The Mayor said...

I was on the Peeps website and you can BUY GIANT STUFFED ANIMAL PEEPS. There is one that is 2 ft tall and he's $100 (not worth it, I think)

"Eatmycheese" not "Hercules" said...

Yeah, Peeps are gross (grimace). I prefer Creme Eggs but WTF is up with them lately. They used to be all runny on the inside, similar to the consistency of a real egg. Now, when you break it open, you can turn that shit upside down and it goes nowhere. Damn you Cadbury (fist waving in the air)

Justine said...

Mat's in California at the moment and I've asked him to buy you some of the chocolate Peeps. He'll be back in time for Easters.

Jenn L said...

i fully agree with this statement "There's something so satisfying about that first crunch of sugar before you hit marshmallow."

ma-fucking-best

ponoloot said...
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qofaoken said...
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