5.17.2011

What ever happened to?...Boy Meets World edition!

I think I speak for every girl out there who is hovering around 30 when I pose this question: "Where were you on Friday nights in the mid-to-late 90s (and don't lie to me and say you weren't at home watching Boy Meets World)? Because let's face it: if there was anything more strictly regimented in my young adult life than my BMW viewing, it was school and sleeping. This statement, in itself, is a bit of a contradiction though, because even as a kid I would watch it and think to myself "Holy shit, this show is a turd". I mean, it had everything: a teacher who follows them from elementary school to high school to FUCKING COLLEGE and also lives next door, a sister who disappears mid-season without an explanation, tons of pre-famous guest stars, lots of A Very Special Episode-episodes (Drugs! Alcoholic Dads! Sex!). Plus, tons of continuity errors, terrible dialogue, cheesy story lines, a set that looks like it was built for $400. But the real reason we watched was for one reason and one reason only: THE VOICE OF KITT FROM NIGHTRIDER! Let's take a look and see where the cast of BMW is now, shall we?

Cory Matthews (Ben Savage)
Oh, Cory Matthews. Ben played Cory Matthews on BMW from 1993 to 2000. That's weird, right? Doesn't that seem like a mistake? 7 years? That's as many episodes as Curb Your Enthusiasm (and not nearly as many Emmys). Obviously Ben Savage ruled in the 90s - his brother is The Wonder Years's Fred Savage, he was a "hottie", he had one of the most successful TGIF tv shows, he was funny and talented (despite being on a show that was pretty bland and poorly-written). So you'd think his star would rise and he would be ultimately more successful after the show was canceled, right?

WRONG! After growing out of his 'Adorably Cute but Sort-of Hot' phase and hightailing it to his 'Kind of Creepy in a I-shouldn't-agree-to-a-date-with-this-guy-I-met-online' phase, Ben Savage had trouble finding work as an actor. His last film credit on his imdb is the shameful Welcome to Mooseport; his last tv credit is a show called Generation Rex (which I'll just go ahead and assume is some kind of Disney channel show about dinosaurs that are also pop stars). Then I got down to his Director credits and was like "Wow! This guy has directed episodes of Modern Family, It's Always Sunny, and Greek. That's pretty good!" but then I looked at how many episodes he's directed, and it's 1 of each television series. Which means - drumroll please - he didn't do a good enough job to be asked back for a second episode :( Oh dear, the sads.
UPDATE!!!! It turns out I was reading Fred Savage's imdb! When I finally woke my ass up and started typing properly, I found out that Ben Savage's imdb is much MUCH more bleak. He's literally had a handful of bit-parts in shows like Without a Trace and Chuck. Oh, and he has a Twitter and it's just the saddest thing - it looks like he's using it to pick up girls. MY FACE IS IN SUCH A FROWN RIGHT NOW.
Fun Fact! Savage interned for Republican Senator Arlen Specter while at Stanford University, and was also a member of Sigma Chi Fraternity. DOUCHE!

Shawn Hunter (Rider Strong)
Ooooh, Shawn was such a troubled bad boy; he could also wear the hell out of a plaid flannel shirt, right ladies? Shawn was the n'ere-do-well bff of Cory who's dad was an alcoholic and his mom was a deadbeat and they lived in a trailer (REMEMBER HOW HE LIVED IN A TRAILER?!?!!?) So what's he doing now? With a name like 'Rider Strong', I'm going to assume either porn, gay porn, or gay internet porn.

He's actually pretty boring now. He always reminded me of River Phoenix, so I just naturally assumed he would go on to overdose at the Viper Room on Halloween, but that never happened. Instead, Rider went to college, got his Masters in Fine Art, and makes small shorts and independent films.
Fun Fact! He was in Cabin Fever and Cabin Fever 2. LOVE HIM!

Topanga Lawrence (Danielle Fishel)
I have such a love-hate relationship with Topanga. Here is why:
- Loved her style: I always wanted to dress like her and have a wig made of her amazing crimped hair
- Hated her name (but I think we all did). Remember how she was supposed to be the child of hippies? Seriously, hippies wouldn't have picked a name like Topanga; they would have named her Inner Lyte or Lovewayve or something. Topanga sounds too white trash to have come from hippies.
- Loved how down to earth she was
- Hated how she would never break up with Cory (HE'S HOLDING YOU BACK, GIRL!!!! GO TO THE SMALL LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE YOU WANT TO GO TO AND GET YOUR DEGREE IN ASTROLOGY LIKE YOU WANT TO!!!)
- Loved how she had a realistic body; I felt like I knew a million Topangas
- Hated how she would pronounce 'Cory' with such a harsh K-sound
I know I'm picking apart a character, but whatever - give me my moment. Let's see what Danielle Fishel is doing now, k?

How do I use the term 'lukewarm career growth' in a way that doesn't make me sound like a bitch? Yeah, I can't. Fishel went on to act in National Lampoon's Dorm Daze and Dorm Daze 2 which makes me wanna bust out a "Danielle - you career in danger, girl". So, that's unforch, and besides that, she doesn't have too many other acting credits to her name. However (and hear me out on this next one) she was the host of an StyleNetwork show called The Dish that was kind of like if a girl hosted E! Network's The Soup and it...wasn't...terrible. I watched it a couple of times and Fishel had really good comedic timing. She hit jokes in the right way and was a total joy to watch. It was on for 3 years till in was canceled a month ago, and I sincerely hope she gets another opportunity like The Dish, because she was great. Not Joel McHale great, but great in her own way.
Fun Fact! Danielle Fishel went to the prom with N-Sync's Lance Bass. BEARD-DORABLE!

Eric Matthews (Will Friedle)
Cory's other brother was the best combination of hot, stupid, dumb, and hot. He was also funny, but mostly hot. I used to want him to be my boyfriend. I wonder what he looks like now? Would I still want to date him?

SANTO DIOS! Who slapped all the hot out of Will Friedle?!?!? He looks like the singer of a Christian rock band who gets busted for exposing himself to a minor. Shit, I hope this guy's career isn't as crappy as his pervert-goatee.
Aaaaaannnnd...it's not great. No longer as visually inoffensive as his BMW days, Will now does a lot of voice work behind the camera. As long as there are new episodes of Kim Possible and Kingdom Hearts video games, Friedle will always have money coming in.
Fun Fact! Will Friedle used to date Jennifer Love Hewitt back in the day, thus making them the piss-poor-acting-skills Brangelina of the 90s.

George Hamilton Feeny (William Daniels)
Oh, Mr. Feeny. A character straight out of an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Think about it - a single, unmarried old man (who's wife is dead, but really - how do we know he even had a wife? Exactly) who follows Cory from elementary school to High School to College, lives in a house beside the Matthew's family for years, offers Cory advice on everything from girls to school to saying no to drugs. I'm going to go out on a limb here: Mr. Feeny has an unhealthy obsession with Cory Matthews. Like, to the point that Mr. and Mrs. Matthews should have taken Cory to a therapist who would ask him to "point on the doll where he touched you" because - let's be honest - if you had a next-door-neighbor who kept switching schools in order to follow your son's every move for years, would you not be a tiny bit concerned? Like, how the hell did this conversation not happen?
Cory's Parents: "Oh hey, George! I see you got a 'For Sale' sign on the front yard. You moving?"
Feeny: "Why yes, I am! I've decided to leave my job as the Principal of the High School to become a professor at Cory's shitty state college."
Cory's Parents: "Oh...wow. So...I'm sorry? You're following our son to college?"
Feeny: "Yes! I've also applied to be the RA on his residence floor and the manager of his after-school job at the campus Coffee House. Furthermore, I'm going to still refer to him as 'Mr. Matthews' even though he's an adult now and I should be using his first name."
Cory's Parents: "Cool! Have fun! Keep him out of trouble!"
But we know that William Daniels isn't Mr. Feeny (he's always going to be the living, breathing voice of KITT to me), so let's see what he's been up to.

Look, the man doesn't have to work; he's a television legend. He has an Emmy, he was on St. Elsewhere and Night Rider, he's been on The Simpsons twice. But he still does voice work and looks like a super nice guy.
Fun Fact! He and his wife made Emmy history when they became only the second real-life couple to win best actor/best actress awards on the same night. Also the roles they won for? Fictional husband and wife on St. Elsewhere. META! Oh, and they've been married for 50 years. TILL DEATH DO US PART!

Stuart Minkus (Lee Norris)
EW, REMEMBER MINKUS!?! I hated that kid so much. I know that he was just a character, but I couldn't get past the idea that a kid was THAT good at acting, and therefore was just as snotty and fucking annoying in real life. What's he doing now?

...apparently he's been in every episode of the never-ending-series that is One Tree Hill. He plays a character called Marvin 'Mouth' McFadden (yeah, I got nothing). But the guy gets a steady paycheck, so he's automatically doing much better than Ben Savage. He still looks very weird though; he never really grew into his obscenely upsetting looks. He should start a group for actors with weird-ass faces with DJ Qualls and Chris Owen (it would be like the Freemasons for character actors).
Fun Fact! Lee Norris is friends with Lauren Conrad from The Hills. That's...cute? Yeah, I'll say cute. CUTE!

So what about the rest of the cast? Like Cory and Eric's seldom seen sister Morgan or brother Joshua? The girl who Eric and Shawn's brother (played by Matthew "Not Joey" Lawrence) lived with in that New York Loft? Who cares! They've done nothing! So let's look instead at some Fun Facts about Boy Meets World!
- Adam Scott from Party Down and Parks and Recreation was a recurring character, Griffin "Griff" Hawkins, who was Cory's bully in High School. I know, right? ADAM SCOTT AS SOMEONE'S BULLY?!?!
- Topanga had 5 different actor's portraying her parents. They were: Peter Tork (The Monkees!), Michael McKean (Spinal Tap what?!?!?), Mark Harelik (who?), Annette O'Toole (again, who?) and Marcia Cross (CASTING MISTAKE?!?)
- Cory and Eric's dad was played by William Russ, who has so many acting credits to his name, I had a hard time picking out the best of the best. But with roles in The Mentalist, JAG, The West Wing and TWO CSI's, he may just be your Grandparent's favourite actor.
- Guess who voices Slinky Dog in the Toy Story movies now that Jim Varney is dead? Shawn's crazy Dad! Aka Blake Clark, who is in fucking EVERYTHING.
- Cory had a bunch of bullies at school, and we've covered Adam Scott. But guess who else almost Facebooked him to death (you know, if Boy Meets World was set in 2011)? Ethan Suplee (My Name is Earl) and - drumroll please - the guitarist from Rilo Kiley, Blake Sennett. Which leads me to this: How much of a fucking pussy was Cory that his bullies were an indie rock darling and the scrawny guy from Party Down. Jesus, throw in Martin Starr and Cory was basically bullied by the geeks from Freaks and Geeks.

7 comments:

alex davey said...

ooooh shawn <#

The Mayor said...

http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users16/pattygopez/default/cast-boy-meets-world-rider--large-msg-13016906025.jpg

Jenn L said...

i have not read this yet but you missed adam scott! (unless he is in there, my bad)

Jenn L said...

ok i read it, you did mention Adam Scott. nice!!!

Alice said...

Adam Scott! Can I just say how much I love him on Park & Rec as a nice guy?! He usually plays such douchy characters in movies (which he does really well) so it's nice to see him all cute with Leslie.

Anonymous said...

you need to do a what ever happened to the people from harriet the spy... the boy with the purple socks.

SJM said...

I know I am late to this party, but holy shit, Feeny was KITT. I never made that connection as a child - probably because the internet wasn't around, and I was pretty stupid, but wow. WOW.