9.30.2011

Move over hugging David Sedaris, this is now No. 1 on my bucket list

Okay, so one of the best things about working with your friends is that you're constantly talking about cool stuff during the day. I mean, obviously hanging out with your friends at night is awesome too; but usually it's the kind of hanging out that involves booze and candy, so you're super hyped up and shouting at each other and nothing makes sense and everything is like "fuck dude, that's the best idea!!!" but then you wake up and you get a text that says "an all-you-can-eat cake buffet would be totally gross" and you can't help but agree. So daytime work friends are the best: catching up on last night's TV, joking about work stuff, dreaming of lunches and that end-of-day magic hour where you know you're going home soon and you're just sailing. This is the stuff I didn't get when I worked from home. So if you'd asked me 10 years ago if I'd ever see myself working in an office, I'd probably have said that I'd rather kill myself; now, after working on offices for a while, I realize there's nothing more fun.

Anyways, a friend of mine just started working with me and it's been fun. Most of the day is spent actually working, but then we'll break up the day with sentences starting with "have you ever seen..." and ending with a YouTube address. Yesterday was no exception. I was talking to my friend about how I can taste the difference between all cola brands, regular, diet, Coke Zeros, no matter what. I'd be willing to go to Vegas with this skill (I'm also pretty proficient with lemon-lime sodas and root beers, but still have difficulty telling the difference betwene Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper, which in itself is a testament to Diet Dr. Pepper tasting like regular Dr. Pepper). Then he was like "Have you ever seen that soda pop store with all the sodas?"

UM NO?!?!?!?!

Why have I never known about this?!? So he sends me the link to a clip on YouTube about Galco's Soda Pop Stop. Please PLEASE take a minute and watch this. It's awesome.



So obviously, the first thing I do is Google them and see if they have a website. Of course they do. Galco's Soda Pop Stop's website is just terrible; the logo has been set in my least favourite typeface (Curlz. Oh god, just typing that made my soul sad). Plus, with those fucking MS Paint colours, I feel like I'm looking at someone's shitty Anglefire-hosted NSYNC-tribute page. Seriously, someone needs to help them out here: either splurge for the $300 you can pay a graphic design student to make you a rudimentary website or just don't have one. You're a store that sells liquid in glass bottles. People come to the sodas. You don't ship them. I feel like I can guess how low your profit margins are after you factor in shipping tons of breakables across the country using a postal service that does not give one shit about how many times you write FRAGILE on the box. I digress.

Galco's Soda Pop Stop is located in Los Angeles (of course!) and sells a jillion different kinds of soda pop. Be still my diabeetus-having heart. I feel like if I went (pfft, what am I saying. If. More like when I go and blow close to $400) I would have a very difficult time picking out a favourite. People who know me know that I am a very loyal Diet Coke drinker, so I'm afraid nothing would be better than that (and really, that goes for anything. Name something better than Diet Coke. You can't, exactly). Quick story derailment: I've been listening to Jay Mohr's podcast Mohr Stories a lot recently (it's really terrific, and was recommended by a work friend - of course) and there's a part where Jay is talking about how deep his alcoholism ran when he knew he could have someone put down 14 unmarked beers in front of him and he could name all 14. Instead of me going "oh shit, that guy was a little too involved with beers" I went "so what? I could do the same thing with soda pop". Give me a break, I'm powerless against this disease. Actually, I shouldn't joke about that; my parents are actually concerned that I drink too much Diet Coke, like the way someone would be concerned you smoke too much meth or shoplift too much. I know that Diet Coke will never kill me (please provide me with documented proof before you email me with the subject line IT'S BEEN PROVEN, DIET COKE WILL KILL YOU) but I like to imagine 50 years down the road I'll be filming a PSA wherein I'm wearing a bathrobe, ranting out loud to myself, scuttling around a filthy kitchen, while a Jon Hamm voice-over says "Diet sodas have been proven to deplete brain function" and in the background you hear a tinny child's piano slowly play out 1-2 Buckle My Shoe or Turkey in the Straw or something. Sidebar: Why are PSAs so fucking creepy?

Anyways, to get to my point. I just need to let you guys know about this place. If you live in Los Angeles or California or just like road trips and bottled sugar water, then get your asses to Galco's Soda Pop Stop. Write me a letter and tell me what Heaven is like.

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