11.14.2011

Fancy French Chippies

Holy shit, sorry for the two-week hiatus, everyone! I would say I had a good reason, but that's not true. I just got lazy and got really into naps and Starbucks. Can we talk about Starbucks Holiday Drinks please? Okay, I get that some of you are rolling your eyes because Starbucks is so evil and run by Satan and destroying America and we are the 99% etc etc etc, but just shut up for a second, okay? Starbucks isn't evil, doesn't run small coffee places out of business, doesn't treat its employees like crap. It's not the worst. Besides that, November 2nd they release Holiday Drinks, and I totally lose my shit. Eggnog lattes. Gingerbread lattes. Peppermint mochas (ew, not that good actually). All I wanna do for 2 solid months is drink eggnog and eat gingerbread. 2 months. Don't care. Anyways, the reason why I brought it up is because I have been drinking at least 1 eggnog latte a day, and today was the first day I brought my own eggnog to work to make eggnog lattes all day long. I might have a problem. Moving on.

A little while ago, my friend Caitlin went on a trip with her boyfriend to Paris. I got really excited because I know that France is the place where you can get mustard-flavoured potato chips. So I asked her to bring me back some. Cut to two weeks later when she gets back and wasn't able to find me any (FUCKED AGAIN!!! This happened when my sister went to France too) but she did bring me back chips, albeit not vinegary-yellow-mustardy ones.


In case you don't read French, the bag is telling us that these are Lay's Bolognaise flavour chips. They're always so tasty/delicious even though they have 25% less salt and they're not made with palm oil (two things I don't care about. The bag could say 250% more salt and filled with illegal, rare, extinct palm oil and I'd still NOM NOM NOM right down to the bottom of the bag).

I wasn't entirely sure what 'Bolognaise' meant; I know it's a spaghetti sauce, but my knowledge of Italian foods doesn't extend that far past Chef Boyardee and The Olive Garden, so I did some research. Bolognaise is a meat sowsa that is just like, beef and tomatoes and garlic and onions and stuff. Pretty basic. I think that's what you get when you get anything from East Side Marios (that, and IBS. Oh, and all you can eat garlic loaf). But on the chip package it looks like the main flavours are tomatoes and basil. This would make it...Marinara? I dunno. I ate them to find out.

Damn boo, them chips is orange. I was expecting red or brown (ew). The smell was very potato-y; it wasn't really "Italian" or tomato-y. The only exposure I've had to either of those flavours is Ketchup chips (delicious) and Pizza Pringles (fucking gross).

Two things. First off, it didn't taste like Ketchup and it didn't taste like Pizza Pringles. I wouldn't describe them as tomato/basil though; it was more like a salad dressing flavour. All Dressed? Yeah, maybe like a bizarro French All Dressed. It wasn't very tangy, the way you'd expect a tomato chip to be. It did have elements of basil, but not that kick that says "I have basil in my mouth". The best way I can describe it is that it doesn't taste like cheese and it doesn't taste like creamy. It's the absence of flavour. Second, the flavour wasn't really sprinkled on, like Canadian and America chips. It's like it's baked or fried into the chip? It's odd, sort of like a greasy little taste package. I didn't complain - I ate them all.

So would I eat these again? Yeah, probably. They weren't gross, but they didn't hit the spot like a mustard chip would (then again, nothing will). Next time you're in France, buy some. Eat them with lunch, but not with dinner - they're too light a chip. What's a dinner chip, you ask? Easy - Doritos, or anything Sour Cream & Onion.

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